Fan Fiction
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Hindsight – Chapter 6
Yesterday when the results of my actions stood in front of me, to see the pale, gaunt figure with shock written so plainly on her face as she her Angelica’s word of ‘Mama’, that’s when the results had hit me with such a force that I could have sworn I had been hit by a freight train.
How could I do this to her, when it was me… it was me that had wanted the simple life, a life without conflict, without intensity, without the intensity that our relationship had always been surrounded by, that intensity that brought so much passion into my life, a passion and intensity that was now sadly lacking from my simple life, my simple, boring fucking life…
I felt her body then, as my own emotions became less intense I felt hers, her body shaking as she became overcome, her hands were now grasping me tighter, pulling me closer, I leaned back slightly, sensing how she was also in the process of letting go, I brought my arms around her shoulders and puller her into me, I felt her face bury itself in my neck, she held onto me tightly, I flattened my hands on her back, across her shoulders, it was then I felt it…
I felt how much weight she had lost, not just from seeing her in her jeans last night, but feeling how much she had lost, the usual firmness of her taut body was in stark contrast to how she felt in my arms now, she felt like a different person, I couldn’t believe that she felt so different, she had devoured the breakfast I had made for her, why was food the one thing she always turned away from when she felt stressed or emotional, but that was just her, she was the sort of person who didn’t automatically think about the basic sustenance of nourishing the body.
It was another sign of how low she had got, how far she had been pushed, it was her decision as to whether to eat or not, but the actions of how she had got to that emotional state laid at my own door.
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(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
WOW!!! That was just wonderful. Thank you PPS
jo u deserve all the comments and nominations!! ur writing keeps us comin back!!
Wow! That’s all I can say. Where there’s love…
Even at this low point in her life Bette can still show her strenght…being there for Tina…and while a vulnerable Bette will always pull at the heart strings…i love it when her true strenght shows through too…great stuff as always!
your just amazing how do you even begin to …. just unwrap Tina like that. you just hit raw emotions and you hit it right on the nail. that’s what we would all like to see on the show….. camn’t wait to read more
This story is so heart wrenching and yet so wonderful. Tina trying to right the wrong of keeping Angelica from Bette will be difficult. The trust needs to be re-built, but I have faith in you Jo. If any writer can fix this broken relationship, it’s you! You are AWESOME!
Lotta wrongs to right. A family hug is a good start, and this was a very good chapter. Post soon. Cheers
damn, you’ve done it again. pardon me while i try not to cry at work.
WOW my heart was beating faster than B&T while reading this chapter! You are amazing with words..make us want more and more!.
That chapter was great…and heartbreaking again…but your chapters are overlapping right? I thought T said she’d never forgive herself for taking A away from B or something like that in the last chapter… Didn’t she?
Oooops – an error pointed out, missed out a couple of lines – I’ve gone back in and edited now.
Jo, I’m very glad for the way things are going, but I just can’t buy Tina’s statement (excuse) that it was never meant to be vindictive. Bullshit! (Do you Brits use that one?) When I see something like that I think Tina needs to be a lot more honest with herself and needs to do a lot more soul searching.
Hey, Jo, why don’t you cut this old fart some slack and use that font size all the time?
Just amazing….i freakin love this fic…update soon please…..
Well damn it Jo! You making it difficult to want to throw Tina off a cliff! I think it’s because this Tina is showing signs of remorse and regret, something we have yet to see from Tina # 2 on the show. But if I may I am still going to hold on to my anger because I would like to see Tina suffering, even if she is making amends. Call me spiteful, rude, or mean, it would do my heart good to see her suffering for just a little bit.lol Thereafter you she can get all the happiness in the world, with or without Bette.
wow that was great
Love each word, they are a long ways from being Okay,but they are on the way, Only you can make us wish this to happen. thanks
Amazing chapter. Thanks for sharing
Very heartwrenching but optimistic at the same time. You can tell that Tina is struggling with all that she has done to the one person who still very much holds her heart. Tina knows that she did the worst thing to Bette by withholding Angelica from her. Bette has done some major damage to her body. She is going to need tender loving care to get her back to a healthy state. Between Kit, Angelica, and Tina there is hope that the Bette that we all love will return.
THANKS , JO! POST SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that I am an emotional basketcase right now…hormone levels are sky high…but damn…you are amazing and I your writing just brings me to tears. Thanks, Jo!
Alright yeah this is what we all waiting and hope they will be as a real family soon. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Loving your story Jo.
wonderful! i have tears in my eyes! it was an incredible and heartbreaking chapter but i am confidence that Tina will do the right thing to fix this. Your are amazing girl!
Bette has an amazing strength. I’m happy to see that Tina is putting a stop to her harmful actions and righting her wrongs.
Everytime you write I can feel the emotion. Great chapter, Great story.
(clearing throat) that was yet again truly amazing. I think you’re trying to get me to ball my eyes out…you don’t need to worry..i already have…thank you very much…now please…post again! Thanks for this amazing story.
That’ll be a real fun conversation when Tina gets around to asking Bette if she’s been eating. >.>
This story turns me into a sniffling ball of emotions. I can feel the pain there. They will work this out…I have faith in you Jo. You deserve every nomination you get and then some. You are awesome!
You are supremely talented. Please continue.
FAMILYHUGTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) Hey, all us jobadge-readers are like a family right? Come on lets join in this hug!!!
After what we’ve read so far we all need a hug! You have a gift with words that takes us through every emotion there is & every where inbetween. You’re amazing & deserve all the praise you get.
Awwww family hug, mate I think you and I should squeeze in :o)). This chapter was truly beautiful, I love how you show us an emotional honest Tina, a Tina who is full of remorse and wants to right things starting now!!! “I once told her she had breathed life into me, she made my heart beat” – so sweet and simply amazing. Now I’m all up to date with the reading and the comments, so still mates???? Please post that Remember When soon, I’m so ready…..hope my SD is too LOL.
Jobadge you have taken my breath away once again. More…please?
Incredible – without a doubt one of the most moving chapters of fanfic I’ve ever read!
wow! what can i say .. just amazing writing Jo. Thanks.
I still want to know where you are going with this? Tina does seem to be a tiny bit of denial, but it’s all good when the writing is a great as yours. Thanks mate.
I concur – WOW!!!
Truly awesome, Jo–deep, beautiful, painful, touching! How do you do it? Thanks for continuing to share your gift with us, and congrats on all the well-deserved accolades in your noms!
so great…I can feel Bette’s pain…Tina’s craziness…and of course so want them 2gether as lovers, partners and parents for their precious daughter…