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If I Fall: Chapter 11
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For years she spent toiling away in the closet, not allowing herself any chance at real happiness. And even after she came out, she was still so fearful of taking a risk with her heart and finding someone who would truly make her happy, she just settled for the likes of Tonya. She had been in love with Alice for so long at that point that not having her be more than a friend became the norm, and she learned to accept it as their reality. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that the writer could possibly be in love with her too. But then Alice knocked on her door at 4am and kissed the life out of her, leaving both her head and heart swelling with sheer delight. And to her amazement, Dana started to believe she would finally get what she had longed for all those years.
Yet once the shock wore off and the two were settled into a relationship, she inadvertently switched on the panic button and began to worry about losing the happiness Alice had given her. Just like the few other times in her life when Dana got what she really wanted, a tremendous sense of fear washed over her and colored all rational thought from then on. Also adding to that fear was the fact that Alice began pushing her and wanting more out of her as a partner than she thought she was able to give. And this made her more afraid of failing Alice and not being able to love her the way she deserved more than anything else.
She stood there, not realizing that the slight chill in the ocean air had created goose bumps along her forearms. She was too wrapped up in her thoughts of Alice and the way it felt to be near her again to take much notice of anything but the shaking in her knees and the dull ache in her chest. She had tried to make sense of the all-too familiar feelings that resurfaced again after their embrace, but her efforts were regrettably futile. Nothing seemed to make sense to her anymore, least of all the way she felt about Alice. She had come here tonight hoping to forge some sort of truce long enough to get their friendship back on track. She thought she wanted nothing more than to regain her best friend, and achieve some piece of mind in the hope that she didn’t lose Alice completely.
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Hey Thank you great update. Gotta love that Danish. PPS.
I’m sorry, I can’t help it! I want danish together and if that means tainting Jules so you can no longer write him into this then yay! :P My plan is working mwahaha. As for that needy comment, uh em, no you don’t *shifts eyes nervously from side to side* I’m perfectly fine without an update from you. Do you buy that? This is Bradshaw saying you posted an awesome chapter once again and I’m mega jealous of your talent, over and out xx
Another great update! It was awesome, before, but I liked the additions too. Unlike your other readers I’m not quite ready for them to get back together. I don’t want Dana to suffer, but she has to be completely sure before she even gives a hint that she’s still interested in Alice. I’m sure Shane will figure it out – if she hasn’t already. :-) It’s so funny that De_Leish_ous is still calling Jules “him”. rofl I can’t wait for your next update.Yes, I got a little kick out of calling you busy. You left before noon? It’s official, I’m jealous. lol You’re right – Go Chargers! (But I sorta like the Ravens too.) Down with the Pats! lolThanks again for the update and the preview.
Aww, poor Dana. Sometimes I wish she’d quit with all the being scared and hiding her feelings crap, but this time she’s doing it for Alice’s sake, and I can’t help hurting for her a little bit. That’s such a tough situation to be in, and her guilt’s understandable, which somehow makes it even more sad. There was a lot of groundwork for a Danish romantic reconciliation in this update, and everything made complete sense in the context of both the storyline and the characters’ personalities. So yay. Oh, and as to the livejournal thing…I had a sneaking suspicion it was you just by the writing style, but I didn’t want to say that in case I was wrong because I’d look either insane or idiotic. But yay, I was right! Okay, I’ll stop babbling your life away now…love this story more every time you post!
It’s good that they have their friendship back on track. I can’t wait for Dana to tell Alice how she really feels though
Are you serious? How can a non-argument between these two be dissapointing? This chapter was more I than I exepcted! So will we have a slighlty drunk Alice (and Dana) in the next chapter. :)
so cute. what the heck is dana gonna do? i really liked the line “Dana’s heart seemed to pound in her chest, making sure she knew it was still beating just for Alice. ” how poetic! post soon.
Great update just wish it was 20 pages longer. My heart is breaking for Dana a little bit, poor thing. Granted she did it to herself. Love the intensity you are building and can’t wait to see what happens.
YAY … I finally caught up after not reading any fanfic in about 2 weeks. I absolutely can’t wait for your next update!
Awesome story.Nice to see them talking. hope it stays that way.Please post more soon.