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If I Fall: Chapter 11
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At least, that was Dana’s goal until ten minutes ago. Until a deluge of repressed feelings came flooding back when she held Alice in her arms, and admittedly, couldn’t quite bear the thought of letting her go. It wasn’t like Dana had forgotten how amazing it felt to touch Alice, or even how incredible it felt to have Alice touch her back. But somehow through all her fear and avoidance, she had forgotten how much being in the writer’s arms truly felt like home.
For Dana, there weren’t many places she felt absolutely comfortable and totally free to be herself. Not even with her family could she be the woman she truly wanted to. And while her friends were great and ever so supportive, she still edited her thoughts before they reached her mouth, often remaining shy and withdrawn in social situations. No, only two places were reserved for Dana to feel such unbridled freedom and unconditional comfortability. The first of course was on any tennis court, be it clay, grass or hard court; the second, and possibly the best, was being with Alice.
It was perhaps the fact that their friendship came first that was both a blessing and a curse on the romantic involvement that followed. Being best friends allowed them to take freedoms with each other that other new relationships could hardly take. Seven years of friendship made them fully aware of each other’s shortcomings, and they therefore figured that meant they knew all they needed to about being girlfriends. Yet, Alice ended up surprising them both by turning jealous and insecure, and she wasn’t as prepared as she thought to deal with Dana’s inability to communicate or handle her emotions. As best friends, none of this was ever an issue for the other. But as girlfriends, all Alice had really needed was reassurance of where she stood in Dana’s life. And Dana, being Dana, was just unprepared to give it.
So the athlete’s comfort zone, which had always included Alice, became strangely uncomfortable and foreign to her. She no longer recognized her best friend as the woman she so hopelessly fell in love with. Instead, she found it difficult to be herself around this new Alice, especially since every day there seemed to be a new issue or insecurity they had to deal with. And so the friendship suffered right along with the relationship, and Dana no longer felt free or comfortable to be herself in it. Her feelings for Alice were once the only things that made sense to her. And now all their fears had changed that.
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Hey Thank you great update. Gotta love that Danish. PPS.
I’m sorry, I can’t help it! I want danish together and if that means tainting Jules so you can no longer write him into this then yay! :P My plan is working mwahaha. As for that needy comment, uh em, no you don’t *shifts eyes nervously from side to side* I’m perfectly fine without an update from you. Do you buy that? This is Bradshaw saying you posted an awesome chapter once again and I’m mega jealous of your talent, over and out xx
Another great update! It was awesome, before, but I liked the additions too. Unlike your other readers I’m not quite ready for them to get back together. I don’t want Dana to suffer, but she has to be completely sure before she even gives a hint that she’s still interested in Alice. I’m sure Shane will figure it out – if she hasn’t already. :-) It’s so funny that De_Leish_ous is still calling Jules “him”. rofl I can’t wait for your next update.Yes, I got a little kick out of calling you busy. You left before noon? It’s official, I’m jealous. lol You’re right – Go Chargers! (But I sorta like the Ravens too.) Down with the Pats! lolThanks again for the update and the preview.
Aww, poor Dana. Sometimes I wish she’d quit with all the being scared and hiding her feelings crap, but this time she’s doing it for Alice’s sake, and I can’t help hurting for her a little bit. That’s such a tough situation to be in, and her guilt’s understandable, which somehow makes it even more sad. There was a lot of groundwork for a Danish romantic reconciliation in this update, and everything made complete sense in the context of both the storyline and the characters’ personalities. So yay. Oh, and as to the livejournal thing…I had a sneaking suspicion it was you just by the writing style, but I didn’t want to say that in case I was wrong because I’d look either insane or idiotic. But yay, I was right! Okay, I’ll stop babbling your life away now…love this story more every time you post!
It’s good that they have their friendship back on track. I can’t wait for Dana to tell Alice how she really feels though
Are you serious? How can a non-argument between these two be dissapointing? This chapter was more I than I exepcted! So will we have a slighlty drunk Alice (and Dana) in the next chapter. :)
so cute. what the heck is dana gonna do? i really liked the line “Dana’s heart seemed to pound in her chest, making sure she knew it was still beating just for Alice. ” how poetic! post soon.
Great update just wish it was 20 pages longer. My heart is breaking for Dana a little bit, poor thing. Granted she did it to herself. Love the intensity you are building and can’t wait to see what happens.
YAY … I finally caught up after not reading any fanfic in about 2 weeks. I absolutely can’t wait for your next update!
Awesome story.Nice to see them talking. hope it stays that way.Please post more soon.