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If I Fall: Chapter 17
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This was answered by another wordless, affirmative shake of the head.
"Fine." Dana was quiet for a moment, still not breaking their eye contact or removing her hands from Alice’s face, and the writer wondered where this was going. "You’re right, Alice. I don’t tell you how I feel. When we were together, and even afterwards, I know I made it difficult for you to figure out where we stood. But it’s not like I purposely tried to make things harder. See, I want now what I’ve wanted all along. And that’s you. As for the bracelet, I thought that if I gave it to you and sent the note with it, that maybe you’d be able to comprehend even an iota of how I felt. But the truth is Al, not even a piece of jewelry or all the words in the dictionary would be enough to explain what I feel for you. I can’t really even explain it to myself, because, to me, it’s almost beyond comprehension. And to hear you sit here and say I don’t want to tell you how I feel…like I get some perverse enjoyment out of being closed off and withholding, well, it makes me really, really sad. Of course I want to tell you how I feel. If I thought I was able to do it any justice, I’d be screaming it from the rooftops. It’s just…God, it’s so fucking hard for me to do that. I’m not good with words like you are. And I didn’t grow up in a family that said how they felt. Everything was just for appearance purposes, you know? Like, children were supposed to be seen, not heard. And I guess that’s why even now I’m not sure that I have the capability to just blurt out all my fears and desires. It’s just not something I was trained to do. And when it comes to how I feel about you, it’s even more frustrating for me to be unable to say things because I hold it so close to my heart. My feelings for you have been a part of me for so long now, I don’t even know who I’d be anymore without them. And yet I’m not able to vocalize what that means to me, and it’s horrible. You think I don’t want to tell you how I feel? That’s bullshit. The truth is that I just can’t tell you how I feel because half the time I don’t know how to put it into words. Words won’t do it justice, Alice. What I feel in here…," she slowly removed a hand from Alice’s face to take the writer’s hand in her own and place it over her heart, "…is so intense that I don’t know how to tell you here…," she then removed the hand clutching Alice’s from her chest to her own mouth, kissing the palm of Alice’s hand softly and closing her fingers around it. She quickly scanned the writer’s eyes for any reaction to this, and took the fact that Alice had now closed her eyes tightly as a sign that she could proceed.
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awesome. i am so excited to see what happens next.
Oh man my heart is breakin here, this was a great chapter!!, I hope Dana doesn’t give up though, thanks for the post!!
Fantastic chapter – Dana can’t give up on Alice – what a pity she was so stoned – as things might have been a bit different. Can’t wait to see what comes next.
OMG…that was intense. I was holding my breath untill the end of this chapter! What is their next move? What will Alice tell Jules? And how will ‘ sober’ Dana act around Alice the next time they see each other?
Okay, I haven’t even read past the first page yet, but I have to comment and say that I’m a little freaked out. After work this morning I decided to have a Tarantino marathon, and right before I checked the main page I’d just finished watching Pulp Fiction. Needless to say, I’m feeling a little spooked as well as amused by the word “motherfucker” in this. Okay, I’m gonna go read the rest and leave more feedback later. Ta.
Okay, I read it and have returned to comment again. You’re a fucking heartbreaker, you know that?? I’m seriously crying over here. Poor Dana, poor Alice, and even poor Jules, but she’s a bad mother fucker so she’ll get over it. Well, if there’s anything to get over, which there had better be because Alice and Dana need to be together.
First things first it happened at 4am…that was magical, next I am so glad that Dana actually told Alice how she feels but for some reason I don’t think Jules is just going to sit back and let it Dana and Alice happen. This chapter would have to have an 11/10 if I could do that. Fantastic PPS.
Wow! As much as my heart breaks for Dana, I understand Alice’s need to protect herself. Jules is a saint and all, but I wonder how she will react when Alice finally finds her. She gets it. Not only does Dana belong to Alice, (I loved that line), but Alice belongs to Dana too!Go Tennessee!
Wow that was just perfect I can’t wait to see wat happens next
Ouch you are killing me here. PPS. You can’t leave us hanging like that, not nice.
I think we know the real reason Alice and Jules haven’t slept together yet *nudge nudge* , so when he and Alice eventually have the talk about ‘Dana’ will he admit his secret? hehe ok I love this, I truly do, I want it to never end. :) xx
damn! poor dana :S she finally opens to alice but guess it was too late :( i just want jules to disappear…:P well not really but frak! i just want danish together :( can’t wait for your next chapter :D
fanfrikintastic!!!!!
And so it begins…Love this…you have definately captured Danish Angst…Dana needs to really step it up! Great Chapter! PPS!
simply put – well done!
that was great I just hope that dana will keep fighting for alice they so belong together please post soon I love it great update
wow so good loved it..great work:)