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If I Fall: Chapter 24
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But it just wasn’t like the love she had for Dana.
Sure, she loved the musician. And may lightening strike her dead in her tracks if she ever said there was no physical attraction there either. Of course there was also the kindness, and the intelligently acerbic wit, and her enormous heart that was matched only by her enormous artistic talent. It was true. Jules, in a nutshell, was just about everything Alice could ever hope for in a partner.
Except, she wasn’t Dana.
And despite the fact that there was nothing else she could do but be honest about her feelings for the athlete, she couldn’t help feeling like the biggest jerk in the world for her inability to love Jules like she deserved. So of course, reflecting upon how unworthy she was of Jules’ unwavering care and support made her feel sick to her stomach. Or perhaps, Alice thought, that could be due to the lump of guilt that had been lodged inside of it, twisting and turning itself like a jagged knife to the flesh.
And so running right back over to Dana’s as soon as she ended it with Jules seemed like the last thing Alice needed to do to ease her guilt. As much as being with Dana made her feel so incredibly good, doing anything to perpetuate her feelings of betrayal made her feel as bad as she could ever remember feeling.
And she knew it didn’t make complete sense. She knew she wanted Dana more than anything she’d ever wanted before. But she was paralyzed by her own fear. And sure, maybe she was refusing to take the final step towards Dana because of some misplaced mourning she needed to do over her now-defunct relationship with Jules. And that suited Alice just fine, allowing her to rationalize the lack of contact she had had with Dana over the past three days. Plain and simple, she was terrified. Once she allowed herself back into Dana’s arms, planting two feet firmly in the relationship without any divided loyalty to Jules or anyone else, and without anymore emotional hurdles to get in their way… …well, that was it. There was no turning back; no second-thoughts; no safety net there to catch Alice if Dana let her fall again. She’d be letting Dana back into her heart and thereby running the risk of finding it broken for a second time.
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First of all, welcome back!!! Second of all…. I thought she called Dana!!! Anyway, I love Jules too. OMG I hate to admit but I love this wavering thing. Yes, all the while it pains me to see Alice and Dana suffer, I actually enjoy it. I must be M out of S.M….. Anyway… I am so freaking glad you’re back! I was longing for you and Alice’s “sex” voice. Gah, what an expression. Yes, indeed, I love her voice. Alice needs to get some courage and talk to Dana. Afterall, one she loves is DANA!! :) hee heeeeThank you so much for posting.!! Plz plz post soon!
Ok just so you know i have loved ur story from day one and sorry i havent commented sooner just wanted to be up to date before i did!! Althou not reli tht happy with u right now JULES??? Why she goin to Jules for?? I know its hard for her to go to Dana after everything but after that fucking hot Bathroom scene everyone inc Alice herself knows tht those two are meant to be together and need to start taking steps towards it even if it is slow …. please lol!!! Anyway rant over reli reli love ur story cant wait for ur next update lol!! :) PPS x x
please update again
You really love this whole cliffhanger business, don’t you? I might be a little upset if you didn’t do it so well. I’m really glad you updated, and this isn’t even close to being filler. It’s necessary for the story, if Danish didn’t wallow in some sorta thought bubble for awhile after everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t make any sense. I just hope Jules doesn’t take advantage of Alice’s emotional state. Not that I think she’d do that deliberately or anything, but…yeah. Okay I’ve been rambling for like ever here, but what I want you to take away from this dissertation is that you rule muchly.
8 Pages is not filler, It was pretty damn good…Please get Dana and Alice in the same room…Love how you write your A&D!
OK. So your filler makes my filler look even more like filler. ;-D Seriously — this was a great chapter. I understand that Alice is going through a lot, but, she really should have called Dana. Leaving her hanging wasn’t very nice. I’m glad Dana is committing herself to the relationship in a way she didn’t the first time around. Thank goodness Shane, Tina and Boo were there to help Dana. I love how your articulated both Alice and Dana’s thoughts on the situation. It is interesting how they both are thinking the same way — what Alice needs is what Dana is prepared to give her. But they need to talk to realize that. Argh. Bad Alice! I understand her reasoning, but, what if Dana sees Jules over there? Does Alice know Dana is leaving soon for NY? Can I beg you to PPS?
oh i missed you swiss.. so happy about the update oh yeh..i love reading what u write i could just read it all day lol wat an interesting ending i hope i dnt have to wait another month for an update BUT if that is wat it takes then i will thank you!!!!!!
Whoosh! Ok it’s taken me ohhh-4 months and some odd days to comment but here i am! PLEASE update, i just cannot stand playing out all of the possible scenarios in my head. You have really done an excellent job with this whole adventure. I just have this dying urge to know what happens-how does it go with Jules-with our beloved Danish….what happens? Only you know and i am begging for an update or even a small glimpse of Alice and Dana happy and together. But another couple of months wont bother me if that’s how long it takes for you to post somemore of this beautifully written story. Thanks so much swiss!
This is the first Danish fic I have read and still one of the best. I’ll die if you don’t finish it, lol. I need HAPPY DANISH!!! Please update!!!