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    Instinct part9

    Story written on June 24, 2008 by adicttosharmen.
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    26 votes, average: 3.50 out of 526 votes, average: 3.50 out of 526 votes, average: 3.50 out of 526 votes, average: 3.50 out of 526 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5 (26 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 11
    Words: 4689
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=70071
    Author Notes:

    We don’t like to believe miracles exist… but they do. Things happen… things we cant explain… we cant control them, but they do happen. Every day…

     

    “I… I don’t know what to say… I…don’t know… but Jenny I can’t be with her again… I moved on and it took me 5 fucking years…. Ok, it wasn’t easy for me either… I cant pretend that’s all in the past cause is not”

     

    “Why are you here huh? Do you even care?” she got up angry and I did the same

     

     

    “I do care!… … I know what I want… but its difficult… it’s a fucking pain in the ass…. You saw Shane hurt…SHE CRIED… but you didn’t see me… I BLEED … I got addicted to drugs… drugs Jenny!…. Drugs were the only things that would make me forget of her…sometimes… sometimes it would made it worst… but at least it did something… I tried to kill my self two times… two freaking times were I tough the pain was too much for my heart to bare… too much for me to take… I didn’t want to live like this… like my heart was ripped wide open, taken out and stabbed…. Literary… You see this…. This marks on my wrist…. These are not fake Jenny… you see this scar on my back?… just in the middle of the tattoo Shane and I did together?… you see that scar?… that was one drunken night like the others, and I could see in a mirror the fucking tattoo looking at me, reminding me of her so I tried to ripped my flesh off… or did I tell you about that time were I said Shane’s name wile having sex with every woman alive!…I do fucking care Jenny… don’t fucking tell me what I should do what you want me to do… because I don’t give a fuck… you don’t know shit about what I went thru… so don’t fucking tell me I don’t care…..because I do…I just cant tell you what you wanna hear… Which seems to be a theme in my life right now… Just because you can’t do something doesn’t mean you don’t want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them, and you can love someone and not want to be with them. You don’t need to… love someone…. To want them. But its frustrating… when your brain says what you want and what you actually need don’t match up… its exhausting, and its complicating. Buts that life… and life….. sucks… so don’t fucking tell me what to do Jenny… because you don’t know shit”

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    Comments

    1. your updates make the heart heavier (in a good way of course).. they are laced with so much emotions, it’s so real. i hope carmen will be able to convince shane to go for that operation. it’s .. it’s.. so sad! ):

    5. you made me cry…i love the sincerity, their vulnerability..the pure love that comes from both of them, the silly decisions and thoughts that cloud their judgement because of threats of NOT being able to pick up where they left off…how i wish to see Cramen back in season 6…sigh..please keep on updating!

    7. okay, ima have 2 come back wit a comment bcuz im kina choked up right now, so yeah … but plz make it so dat Shane go thru wit da surgery …. datz all i can say atm….

    9. Holy Sh*t!!!! It’s freaking awesome. I hate to say this but I can understand Shane and Carmen either. Shane has might seen the light already when she got a heart attack badly. I just hope Carmen get won eventually.

    11. wow.. puh.. powerfull indeed! Loving the story!=) I’ve been watching a shot at love.. Brittany has been my favourite from day one! =D Though it sucked that Tila dumped her.. I think she’s better off without her.. she is too good for her! Go Brit! “I don’t want a shot at love, I want the whole damn bar!” lol..^^

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