Tina looked away, tears fell slightly, she wiped them away quickly enough.

”ok..” She whispered ”all clear….”

”you’re not Callie…” Bette said in a hoarse voice ”you’re not Callie…” she repeated making Tina look at her with wet eyes ”you’re more, it happened to me with Callie yes, but with you Tina… I’m terrified, without resolution, without weapons it’s all so intimate and never felt… with Callie I was afraid of losing control, but with you this control is not there.”

Tina cried again ”why didn’t you tell me?”

”because I had to process it, but it won’t happen again Tee I promise you…I want you to scream at me if you think something about me, that we discuss it, but without doing anything in secret…and I won’t send you away like that anymore, instead we’ll sleep angry but close, please…believe me…”

Tina shook her head ”it’s not just that Bette…”

The brunette tilted her head ”what’s wrong? tell me please.”

”we don’t know each other, or rather I don’t really know what you were like, before you were in a hospital bed.” Tina dropped onto the kitchen stool, she was frustrated, she hadn’t slept in three nights and it was wearing her down ”everyone knows more about you than I do, you wicked Amelia.”

”Sheaperd?”

Tina nodded and Bette laughed sarcastically, rubbing her forehead.

”it’s not funny.”

”yes it is.” Tina was sulking and Bette loved it, but she knew that the blonde was really incapable of seeing things clearly.

”You’re the woman I chose Tina. You saved me when I was dying. You saw everything about me”

”I saw the worst moment, your suffering”

”and that’s what no one really saw, they know I was sick, but my fears, the nights we hugged, when I found out about Callie’s pregnancy, do you remember?”

Tina nodded ”we hugged each other all night and I felt free to cry, to be weak…God, Tina…you are so important to me.”

Tina broke eye contact, looking at Bette’s cup just in front of her and the brunette slid forward on the side of the counter, still giving Tina the right distance, also to continue reasoning herself.