”I know this project was not something you went out of your way to find. And, I have to admit, I love seeing that spark in your eyes. I remember it well along with the focused determination and the energy that surrounded you.” Tina gave Bette a big smile. ”Impossible was not a word in your vocabulary back then.”

Bette laughed, ”Yeah there were times I didn’t know when to stop… but it served me well on many occasions, one in particular.” She gave Tina a penetrating look as she brought Tina’s hand to her lips, bringing a smile to Tina’s face before she continued.  ”But there were other times… well, you know.”

”What do you want to do?” Tina paused, ”Go to Brighton Beach?”

Bette and Tina turned as they heard Angie call out, ”Mommms, where are you? We’re back.”

*****

Tina laid in bed staring at the ceiling. After trying about six different sleeping positions, she gave up. She had been struggling with menopausal insomnia. Most of the time her job or sexual romps with Bette would exhaust her so much that her body would sort of shut down. She had gotten into the habit of taking naps, but for the most part a good night’s sleep had become a thing of the past. Tonight, her brain would not stop perseverating on the conversation she had with Bette which added to her inability to go to sleep. A slow tear slid down the side of her face. She wiped it as she turned her head and watched Bette’s taunt midsection rise and fall. She thought, sometimes you have to lose somebody, just to find out how much you love someone. And Tina knew, she loved Bette, the depths of her love had no bounds for this woman sleeping next to her.  A recent conversation they had about a statement Tina had made years ago crossed her mind… Tina and Bette had been spiraling down the hole of their increasingly complicated relationship for a while and she had said that ”she had wished Bette knew how to love her better.” It was raw honestly that was delivered in anger.  But Bette said she needed to hear that; she just didn’t know what to do with it at the time.  Tina sighed letting her feelings sit on what had been said.  She always knew that Bette loved her in the only way she knew how, but how Bette loved someone was taught to her by a father who used love as a commodity and a mother who left her.  It was in therapy, that both came to understand what each other needed from the other.  Tina knew there would be tests to their relationship.  She didn’t think it would be this soon, nor this complicated.