“So, it was just a sex thing.” Bette stated more than questioned trying hard to keep the picture of Helena fucking her wife from forming in her subconscious mind.

“Yes, that was part of it. I admit I was curious to experience sex with another woman. I was happy to go to my grave only having one lesbian lover. I mean what else could I want when I had you but then you broke our vows. You gave yourself to someone else and I didn’t see any reason why I should hold on to them. She made me feel beautiful and desirable. I believed you loved me Bette, but we were already drifting apart even before the affair. Helena didn’t seduce me. I didn’t think you wanted me sexually even before you left.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I know we had problems and I should have faced them instead of running away. I only ever wanted you Tina. You were enough for me. I never would have left you.”

“No Bette. I obviously wasn’t enough, and you did leave me. You left me vulnerable for another lover to come between us. I always felt safe with you. You made me feel like you were proud to be with me. Helena wasn’t the first woman to come on to me, but you were always there to protect me from predators like her. She may have been a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but if you hadn’t fucked off, she would never have stood a chance with me.”

“But then I came back.”

“Yes, you did, and I wanted another chance with you.”

“But you still wanted to date her.”

“I needed to know that you’d really come back to me Bette. I needed to know that you were in for the long haul and that you would fight for us. You would have had Angie either way. You’re sticking around and taking all her shit showed me that you were putting my desires before your own. I started feeling safe with you again, but more importantly I started trusting my heart.”

“Are you sure Tee.”

“I have no doubts that Angie and I are the most important people in your life and you in ours. Baby I know you are scared, so am I. We’re going to make mistakes but we’re not going to fuck this up. Angie and I are not going anywhere. No one is going to take us away from you. We belong to each other and we’re it for life. Whatever obstacles come our way; we will face it together. You’re all I ever wanted.”

“You know what I want?” Bette asked looking deeply into those hazel green eyes. The fear Tina saw in Bette’s eyes before was replaced by a glint of mischief.

“What?” Tina asked, expecting a cheeky answer.

“I want to marry you.”

“You do?” Tina’s obvious surprise made Bette laugh. In truth, the pronouncement surprised Bette too. Not the proposal as she had every intention of proposing marriage, but this wasn’t how she envisioned asking.

“I do. I love you. I want you to be my wife. I will love, honor and cherish for as long as I live. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Tina rolled Bette over, so she was lying flat on the bed and kissed her softly.

As much as they had reconciled, and Tina hadn’t gone through with the divorce the commitment of their civil union was broken and damaged. They needed a fresh start. Now they could legally marry. Her father could walk her down the aisle and give her hand to Tina in holy matrimony. They all needed a new foundation to build their life together.

***

It hurt Bette deeply hearing Tina say that she didn’t feel wanted by her sexually when in fact Bette was the one feeling rejected. Her sexual prowess was validated over the years by both gay and bi-curious female lovers. Tina had only ever been with men, and in Bette’s mind that’s what she was competing with as far as sexually satisfying her wife. Her fear had always been that Tina would go back to men. She never contemplated that she was curious about experiencing sex with other women. However she refused to let this new revelation set her on another spiral of insecurity. Tina was with her and that was all that mattered.

”Kiss me”. Bette pleaded.

“I am kissing you” Tina replied moving her mouth and lips to Bette’s neck and shoulders.

“I know but kiss me like this.” Pulling Tina into a scorching wet deep kiss that ignited a fire in both. There was no doubt of their rekindled want and desire for each other and no one else.