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Posthumous Wisdom (18)
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Love
Dana
It had been a long night for Alice. The messages Dana had written on the backs of the photos had re-ignited all the lingering questions she had struggled with since Dana’s death. It was the disparity between these questions which had made Alice feel so out of control in those terrible first few months.
One moment she was questioning if the athlete had ever really loved her, if any of the declarations of love she had made held any truth. The fact that Alice had felt the athlete’s unwillingness to declare her love even during their time together, only added fuel to that particular fire. Then, an instant later she was left clinging to the possibility that the last “I love you” those parting words shared between them were more than just an expression of the deep friendship she felt confident they had re-established. As she spent her nights reliving those final moments, replaying the scene over and over she often awoke almost as troubled by the possible meaning of the words as by the ultimate final outcome.
The idea that maybe during those last few weeks Dana had been feeling about Alice the same way Alice had never stopped feeling about her filled her with regret. Regret that an opportunity had been missed to kiss Dana one more time, or hold her in her arms not with the comforting intentions of a best friend but with the passionate intent of a lover. Yet, at the same time, just knowing that Dana had felt that love for her again would bring her some degree of happiness would it not?
The messages on the pictures were so confusing to Alice. They spoke of a love more intense than any other, a love that was current and a love which pre-dated any previous declaration of same. How could that be though? Much as she would like to there was no denying Lara’s existence. Dana had chosen Lara, she had loved Lara and she had deserted Alice to be with Lara.
The athlete’s protestations to the contrary fell on deaf ears when she tried to explain to Alice that she hadn’t left her to be with the chef. Alice was willing to believe that there had been a time delay between the end of their relationship and the beginning of Dana and Lara’s but surely that was just a ruse. A way to ensure that Dana’s nice guy image remained untarnished. It was no coincidence that the appearance of the red-head back in their lives paralled exactly the demise of their previously blossoming relationship.
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I know it is just a tv series but it was not easy for me to let go of Dana’s death. I still am very emotional talking about it. Somehow, I realize your story is quite therapeutic. The way the story unfolds is unprecedented and it shows that you have spent your time designing this whole plot with care and thoughtfulness. Thank you for sharing it, Wonderingalound!
hey! I’m glad you posted again. I was ‘out of town’ and we didn’t have computers and the time to even rest there but I’m glad that when I came home ‘Posthumous Wisdom’ is waiting for me. hehe What I really love about this story is that somehow I get closure over Dana’s death that the show certainly hasn’t given me. Just like what hail_danalice said it’s a show but with Dana’s storyline, since season one, I’ve found things to identify with in more ways than one. Thank you for giving us that. You write very well and as I promised I’m here, again, supporting ya all the way;D PPS
Your story’s really good, and really, I should have been commenting earlier. This latest letter to Jenny, especially the last part of it, was great. And Alice’s continuing reaction to Dana’s death really strikes a chord with me, anyway. It takes a while (it’s taken me more than a year) before the first thing you think about when you wake up is that someone you love is gone, but it does pass. You’ve captured everything really well, the letters that Dana wrote have everyone wisely pegged, and the pace of the story is spot-on. Post when you can, I’m really enjoying the story. Thanks
I really really love this story. It’s so heartfelt and really illustrates how torturous it can be to loose someone you love. The different angles and effect Dana’s passing and letters are having on the group is excellent. PPS!
I love this story it is great please update again soon this was a great update
it’s me again wonderful story.i have to agree with jp22 it is hard when you loss some you love in my case it’s my mom.it’s been two years and i still wonder if i could of done more for her when she was with as,but i know deep down that that i did all that i could,thats what my sisters say.but theres that little voice inside that say maybe a little bet more.oh well sorry for rambling on.aging great story
Another great chapter. Thanks! Poor Alice. I think she is finally having to deal with Dana’s death after probably thinking she had dealt with it already. It is definately something she needs to go through, though. PPS!
this story is absolutely gorgeous. Sorry I haven’t been commenting much, but I’m reading every chapter and loving it. This one nearly broke my heart, still so stupid to have killed Dana off.