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Private Duty—Chapter 2
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Tina was crushed
”Ok then..I understand..You don’t want to be with me..I guess I will go now..” Tina said pulling herself away from Bette’s arms and quickly heading back to the main house leaving Bette staring after her.
”Tina!..Wait!..You don’t understand!” Bette yelled out to Tina’s retreating form. ”Shit!”
Bette left out of the guest house following after Tina who had already made it back inside. Bette entered through the kitchen and stopped when she looked into the living room watching Tina and Matt share an embrace. She knew she shouldn’t eavesdrop but she positioned herself against the counter out of their line of sight.
”Tina?…Why are you crying?” Matt asked.
”It’s nothing. I’m glad you are here” Tina sniffled
”Is it your Mom?” Matt asked
”No. She’s improving a little. I’m so thankful” Tina replied
”Tina? I came over to ask if we could have dinner tomorrow night. I have made reservations for our favorite restaurant. I want us to start over. I was so selfish and I hope you give me a second chance. Whatever problems or issues that arise we can work through them because I want to be with you”
Matt smiled as Tina looked him in the eyes. Bette was feeling her heart being ripped out anticipating Tina’s response.
”Matt. I’m not ready to give my heart to you” Tina replied as Bette felt relived and smiled
”I know that Tina. I want to win your heart. If you give me a chance that is”
Tina sighed. Here was Matt wanting to be with her regardless and the one she did want to be with didn’t want to be with her until she got her guilt worked out, Tina thought they could work her guilt out together but Bette made it clear she didn’t want to
”No Matt. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be with you” Tina said without hesitation knowing being with Matt would be wrong when she couldn’t give him all of her and truthfully she didn’t know if she could even move on with anyone else
Matt felt stung by the rejection and sighed
”Well I guess you have made your mind up. I’m sorry I screwed this up Tina. But I’m not going to pressure you so If you change your mind you know where to find me”. Matt said giving Tina a kiss on the cheek as she walked him to the door.
”I’m sorry Matt” Tina replied as she watched him leave out. He nodded sadly and walked toward his truck. She closed the door and sighed and walked into the kitchen to see Bette look at her with tears in her eyes.
”Tina? I do want to be with you. I just wanted you to get your head straight first. I just don’t know if right now is a good idea. I mean we just came back into each other’s lives. I just feel we need to just be friends first. That’s all” Bette said as she wiped her tears away.
”Why can’t you date me while you help me get my head straight” Tina asked getting a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.
”Because I don’t want you to start a relationship with me filled with the need to make things right. To make up for the guilt you are feeling. I want that gone first. Do you understand?” Bette explained
”The only thing I know right now is that I want to be with you, But I can’t tell you when I will get over the guilt and since you don’t want to be with me until I do then I’m not going to put my life on hold or yours. It’s ok Bette. We can both move on now. Matt may not have been right for me but we can just move forward ok even if that means we find someone else” Tina said feeling like that was the only answer to give Bette at the moment as she couldn’t handle any further rejection. She sets her glass down and leaves hurriedly out of the kitchen.
”Fuck” Bette whispered and began to cry feeling torn but knew if they were together now it wouldn’t be healthy for either of them. She felt Tina was being selfish and punishing her for not wanting to do things her way. There was no compromise. It was black or white with Tina. But yet could she stand seeing her with someone else. ”I don’t know if I can” she mumbles to herself wiping her tears away
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Tina…Tina! Think girl…. Bette walk into your life 24 hours ago and you want her to start dating you? You want to be with her regardless of the circumstances and the fact that you feel so guilty about your actions of 20 years ago? Your way or the highway? Seems like a bit controlling and unreasonable. Being friends first sounds like a reasonable idea to me. Don’t you want to get to know this Bette…this woman who has been through so much trauma and accomplishment? Don’t you want her to know you? And to be sure that her forgiveness of your actions were well placed? Just making such a request would be seem a bit neurotic to me. Just go with the flow for a while, she going to be your mother’s live in nurse for a while. After making such a demand, some people would call the office and tell them to send another nurse. She may care for the girl you were, but she does not know the woman you are except that you are attracted to her but are feeling the guilt. What if after you have resolved your guilt problem, she does not seem so attractive any more? Hell, you’ve been a straight girl forever… are you really ready for this? Take some time to think about this…do you want to break her heart again?
Good story….cannot wait to see what happens next.
Totally agree with Martha. Not much to add. What starts in chaos ends in chaos. Take a breath, Tina. All is not black and white. It seems a little of the determined to get her own way Tina still lurks. She can’t change 20 years in five minutes. Is it love or to assuage her guilt? She can’t know. Yet. Interesting way to incorporate Alice and Shane. I like this story.
Agree with you and Martha. Tina wants to make up for lost time and “that is the “guilt” that Bette is talking about! She needs to want for Bette to really be healed from a broken heart. Hmmmm
Ditto to all of you. Tina’s reaction seemed very teenager-like but I’d say that her thoughts and emotions are all over the place after the revelation. She should go for a long walk to think, sit with her mother and tell her all of what was happening and going through her mind. Sometimes it helps to give voice to the things which are battling in the head. Grab the chance to have an honest friendship with Bette first, everything more will come naturally (or not) when the time is right.
Martha, Billy and DumplinT have captured my thoughts exactly. Tina would benefit from therapy herself to deal with the 9 year old guilt filled little girl and understand those confusing feelings before she embarks on any type of relationship with Bette or anyone. Glad she let Matt go, but she wasn’t honest with the reason why. She’s emotionally immature. I hope Bette’s sense of responsibility doesn’t push her to be with Tina prematurely. She’s got a lot of scars whether she is willing to admit it or not.
Great storyline. Looking forward to more.
On the same wavelength as Martha, Billy, Dumplin T and BAT here. This is a very nieve Tina and Bette can see it.
Love the connection between Bette and Shane and Alice and the storyline it gives us.
Looking forward to more so please post soon.
Stay safe
Agree with you about liking Shane, Alice and Bette’s friendship. She is well aware of the necessity of drawing barriers by telling S & Al that are going to have to find jobs and places of their own after graduation.
She doesn’t mind helping, but all of them need physical distance. Even Tina has an apartment as opposed to the easy option of staying in the guest house
Can´t wait for more.