“Now that we’ve talked you make it all sound so simple. I wonder why I was so anxious?”

“You guys are doing fine Bette. You’re stronger than you think. You just have to trust and believe. You have to keep the lines of communication open and honest. You did the right thing coming to me to talk things through. That alone shows progress don’t you think? There was a time when you would’ve kept it all bottled up or like you said you would have just gone full speed ahead without taking a moment to pause.”

“That’s a fact. Talking it through with you first has helped me to assemble my thoughts so I can convey what I’m feeling to her in a constructive manner.”

“Good, that’s what I was hoping to do. Is there anything else pressing on your mind?”

“I have a couple more things on my mind but I think I should discuss them with Tina first. If we need help we’ll bring it up on Thursday when we have our session. You’ve been a tremendous help doc. I really value your insights. You always make me see things more clearly after talking to you. I don’t want to screw things up for us.”

“You’re not going to screw things up. You’re doing all the right things. You just have to realize that it’s a two-way street. You are not solely responsible for Tina’s happiness nor is she solely responsible for yours but you are a major part of what makes the other happy. You’ve identified ways to show your love and desire for each other and that’s wonderful. You are doing things together like the cooking classes and your date nights. You’re doing the couple’s counseling, your communication is better than ever. You’re doing a lot with family as well as taking “me” time for yourselves which is very healthy. With this move to the beach you will meet new friends and develop interests outside of the family nucleus.

I suggest you continue to expand your horizons and move out of your comfort zone every now and then. Have fun, go bowling, shoot pool, play putt-putt golf, play beach volleyball; do something that is out of the ordinary for you. Be spontaneous but also be predicable. Spontaneity is fun but it’s the predictable behavior that builds the trust. We’ve talked about you and Tina getting to know each other again as individuals in the ‘now’ and trying to get away from the person you used to know that caused you so much pain. When we meet on Thursday I will suggest some ways that you two can start to re-build your ‘relationship trust’”