The fact that you were very marketable and wouldn’t have had a problem finding a job is what made her question your desire. In her mind she knew that you could easily find a job so why weren’t you even trying? In the now although she may still have some anxiety over money matters it’s not the same. She didn’t get back with you just for financial support Bette. She’s making a fine living on her own and providing for Angie. She has assets to fall back. The fact is she is financially independent and could make it on her own if it came to that, but you’re in an equal partnership. As long as you each keep your commitments to contribute to the household and to Angie’s well-being once you quit CU there shouldn’t be an issue. Have you sorted your personal finances to adequately plan for that?”

“Yes. That was one of the first things we did when we got back together. I wanted us to see a financial advisor as soon as we decided to take Peggy’s offer. We’ve always had very different views about spending. Her condescending attitude towards my ability to provide for my family is still a sore spot with me so I wanted to get all that straight as soon as we moved in together.”

“Bette money discussions are difficult but necessary. It’s obvious that you have a lot of emotions around the issue of money. I think you need to separate that from the facts when you have the discussion with Tina. Lay out your two year plan. Make sure she understands that this business venture has no risk to your personal assets. You keep your commitment by making sure that you deposit money into the joint accounts as you’ve agreed. Maybe suggest that she talk to the financial advisor again about a low risk investment for the money from her condo sale. That way she has something to fall back on and it might give her the security she needs. Make sure that once you quit CU that you have adequate life and health insurance coverage so she is not burdened with any unexpected expenses that might result from death or serious illness. Those are just a few suggestions of ways you can reassure her that you’re aware of her need for financial security and you’ve taken the necessary steps to insure it.”