WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

As soon as Alice finishes the sentence I drop Bette’s hand and jump up in the air. The thing is once I am on my feet and across the space I feel a longing to go back to where I was.

—————————–Dana—————————

Well Alice finished talking and Tina leapt across the room like she had been branded. Now I am worried she is stood in the centre of the living space kind of swaying as if she can’t choose what direction to move in and her eyeballs are moving round in a way that kinda looks like a frightened horse and having a hushed conversation with what I assume is herself. Now it’s one thing when Al does this because I am used to her quirks and she normally keeps it inside her head. But I am a little bit scared as I watch the most together, calculated, composed human being I know come apart in a very confined space, right in front of my eyes.

Then all of a sudden she just snaps out of it and looks at me thankfully stilling the movement of her scary rolling eyeballs, cause that was freaking me out.

“Oh shit Dana, I like her. I don’t like anyone. Well I like some people but I mean I like, like her.”

Now you would think that this was a break through, but nope nothing in my life could ever be that easy. Tina jumps up and grabs a bottle of scotch from one of the cupboards and goes to exit into the space behind the living quarters where the horses are. Before she goes through the door she looks at Bette, who remains out for the count and kind of smirks before opening the door and shouting over her shoulder.

“Wow I totally spaced for a minute there, how weird. As our resident druggy is in the bed I will sleep with the horses, wake me if you need me if not see you in France."

I sit stunned for a few minutes before Al rubs my leg.

“Oh Dana let them live in denial for a while. We can have so much more fun with them this way.”

Seriously did no one in my life get the memo that we left high school at 18?

I sit quietly shaking my head at the ridiculous situation the three of them have managed to create, oh okay I may have stirred things up a bit too, but still I blame Alice. Then something that Alice said pops into my head.

“Hey Al, why do you keep calling Tina Goldilocks? Is it just the hair because I don’t think she liked it a whole lot. Maybe you should stop it before she actually kills you instead of just threatening to."

“No Dana.”

She looks at me and rolls her eyes as though I am missing something obvious.

“She is goldilocks, and me, you and Bette are the three bears. You see, Tina tried you out for size a few years ago but it didn’t quite fit so now you’re friends again. Then she tried me and I also was a wrong fit, so again friends. But when she finally tries Bette’s porridge I am sure that it will taste perfect and be just the temperature she likes it, and she will sit comfortably in Bette’s chair, and then once she has eaten her fill I am sure she be a perfect fit in Bette’s bed.”

Now I am not sure bit I think that all the time I spent with Al has rubbed of on me because that very strange analogy to the four of us actually made pretty good sense to me.

“So then if Tina is Goldilocks and Bette is the right sized bear, how do we get them together before they are so deep into their seemingly bottomless pits of denial that they are past the point of no return?”

The devious grin that covered my lover’s face as she answered my question caused a shudder of dread to run down my spine.

“Well my dear Dana, for that I have a plan.”

Oh sweet Jesus, this is only the beginning isn’t it.