”It’s just so hard… but why? Why is it so difficult to find someone who you are  attuned with?” Tina asked, more to the universe than to her friend, snapping out of her trance.

”Well… I wouldn’t know about that… I just felt… I guess I really liked Alice a lot… but that attraction turned into a friendship… more than a… more than anything else” The brunette, once again, was in defeated mode.

”You know… I guess we’re both disappointed… but for different reasons…” Tina smiled and of course Bette involuntarily melted. 

”Yeah… and I’m really sorry about you and Brian” Bette admitted, doing her best at being a better friend, but still with a little bit of joy hidden in the back of her head. 

”The guy is a complete moron… I just have no idea of what the hell I saw in him in the first place, you know…” Tina replied, back at being annoyed at herself.

”Well… I’m sure he had good things going on as well…” The brunette tried again to be the better person.

”No Bette… he really had none…” 

”Come on T… was it really that bad?” Bette asked, a bit incredulous. 

”It was worse than bad… it was awful. He is a complete and utter idiot, and the  worst part is… he probably thinks that I’m the issue… that I have the problem  because I left him…” It was Tina’s turn to be defeated. 

”T? Can I make a confession?” Bette asked shyly and Tina nodded in agreement. 

”A couple of months ago… when I was starting out with Alice… I went to the  cafeteria and saw you and Brian and a couple of others… and I really… really  wondered to myself… what were you doing with him…” Bette looked both ashamed and afraid after releasing that statement. She didn’t know why she was admitting that to her friend, or where had she gotten the courage, and yet she felt the strange need to simply be honest.

Tina remained silent. Bette looked scared. 

”I’m sorry T… I… I really didn’t mean to…” Bette started her apology but was quickly interrupted. 

”No Bette… that’s fine… I mean… I just wonder why we never talk about these  things… why for example you never said anything to me about what was going on with Alice or… if you had these thoughts about stupid Brian…” Tinas was ranting more to herself than to her friend at that point, like finally realizing of that small and yet very significant fact.

”Well, you know… I adore being with you and I feel like I can talk to you about anything… so I guess I don’t wanna lose that by… maybe offending you with the wrong remarks? After all who the fuck am I to give you an opinion about who you decide to date?” It was Bette´s turn to rant and Tina exhaled a big breath she was unaware she was holding. 

”You are my friend Bette… and I don’t want you to ever be afraid of giving me  an opinion… that’s one of the many things friends are for, right?” Tina spoke the politically correct words, for she couldn´t yet put into a coherent speech what her feelings were.

Yeah… friends… that is exactly what we are… Was all Bette was thinking. 

”What are you thinking?” Tina asked when she saw the troubled expression on  the brunette´s face. 

”That you are indeed right… and I’m sorry… I should have said something” I am such a coward… Again Bette’s thoughts were giving her a hard time but luckily for her Tina smiled tenderly, clearly buying what was being said to her.

”That’s okay… so what are you gonna do about Alice?” Tina´s stomach, again involuntarily became a knot as Bette seemed to give her answer a fair amount of thought.

”I think I’m gonna follow your advice… but I should have known better…  relationships are something that are just… out of my reach I guess”

Tina’s smile grew in tenderness at her friend´s admission, if that was at all possible. And of course Bette, for the nth time that day, melted.

”Well… I’ll be there for you if you need me… you know you just have to knock at  my door, right?” 

Damn it… Shane is right… I so have a straight girl crush…