“Nowhere in particular”, I shrug, as I walk heading to the bedroom. I step inside and a sense of nausea quickly hits me that I have to lean against the wall for not to faint. I had been a methodical thing; going straight to what once was our bedroom. The place where I usually felt safe. I didn’t think about what happened here, just a day ago. And it’s hitting me right at this moment. All of it is falling down on me and I feel like screaming. I immediately step back and exit the room; without turning around. I stare at the place Tina and that man fucked in, and I clench my fists my knuckles became white. The images of the two of them together makes me lose it. I didn’t notice Tina followed me. She must’ve seen the whole thing. Fuck me!

“Are you okay?” Ha! She’s asking me if I am okay. I don’t ever bother to reply at that as I take my way to the living room. I sit down on the couch and sigh. Staring at nothing in particular I finally speak “I’m moving out”

Her heart is not open, so I must go.

2

Chapter

You were my lesson I had to learn

I was your fortress you had to burn

            She didn’t say anything when I declared I want to move out, neither I bothered to continue to speak to her. And now I’m still here, sitting on the couch contemplating about what I will do next once I will be out of here. It feel odd, you know? It’s strange to be forced to leave the one person you thought was going to be with you for the rest of your life. As I said before, I am the one who started this, but when she decided to move back into our home I was so full of hope that things were going to be perfect again, just like we planned. But I was wrong.

            I learnt a lot of things during the years I’ve been with her. She’s the reason I knew what real love is. Before I met her everything was so empty and insignificant. I will never forget the first time I laid my eyes on her. That night at my gallery. She was so beautiful. It had been love at first sight and I can tell the same about her. We immediately fell in love with one another. We’ve been each other’s lesson. I had been the one who introduced her to a completely new world. She’d never been with a woman before; I was her first. And she had been the one who taught me how to let someone love me and vice versa. She showed me how it was to be in a relationship with someone who worked with me. She made me realize how wonderful life is when you share it with someone you love. She proved me that life can be wonderful no matter what you do, as long as you do it with your beloved one. I learnt how it is coming back home and be greeted by your girlfriend who cooked you dinner and makes you forget how bad your day has been. She opened my heart. I gave her my heart and she still owns it…