“So you are still in love with her?” He says accusingly which I can’t deny

“Yes..I am..And I will always be in love with her even if she and I never get back together..She is the love of my life and my soulmate…No one  and not even time will ever change that for me and you knew that when we got together Henry so don’t act like you are shocked to hear me say it….Which leads me to telling you that I’m not in love with you..And I can’t marry you because of that reason..That may be cold blooded for me to say but I’m being honest with myself and with you..I guess I felt because I do love you it was enough..but it isn’t..and eventually the marriage would break down anyway” I say exhaustingly

Henry stares at me sadly.  The realization setting in for him and he knew I was right. It was like the strength had left his body all of a sudden and he fell back quickly on the sofa staring ahead.  My hand print clearly visible across his left cheek.

“I can’t say that I’m surprised really.  I guess I wish you would have said something sooner” he finally says as I sit down beside him

“Henry I never meant to hurt you.  I need you to know that.  I just need to be by myself..To be on my own.  I realized that I am self destructive and I’m no good for anyone ok..not even Bette.  So if you think this is because of her then you are wrong.  I’m doing this for me because it’s the right thing to do”

He is silent for a moment before he stands up obviously feeling uncomfortable around me now.

“I think…uh…I think maybe you should cancel all the reservations since this is your decision and you can sleep in the guest room tonight but tomorrow I think you should find somewhere else.  You can get your things at a later date when you find a place” he says coldly walking over to his luggage

So it was that easy.  Obviously he wasn’t wanting this anymore than I was then if he is so quickly letting this happen. Not that I am upset about it but it seems if he was unsure about us he should have said something to me.  Ughhhh..I can’t wait to be on my own as I watch him grab his luggage and head up the stairs without another word.  I roll my eyes picking up my glass of wine and resume my thoughts not of today with Bette and Angie but where the hell am I going to stay for now.