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    1 Tina

    Story written on August 13, 2023 by BetteisBetter.
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    5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 8328
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=115420
    Author Notes:

    He ruffled his already disheveled hair and searched my eyes for a reassurance I wasn’t sure he would find. ’Sophie, my girlfriend, she – she’s well for one she hates I’m here. She’s tired you know, all the time.’ ’Which week is she?’ ’16 weeks.’ ’Ok, go on.’ ’I wanted to do something for her

    He ruffled his already disheveled hair and searched my eyes for a reassurance I wasn’t sure he would find. ’Sophie, my girlfriend, she – she’s well for one she hates I’m here. She’s tired you know, all the time.’

    ’Which week is she?’

    ’16 weeks.’

    ’Ok, go on.’

    ’I wanted to do something for her you know. While I’m here, send something to show I’m thinking about her – them. Do you have an idea. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself.’

    ’Is she having cramps? Back pain?’

    ’Yes!’ His face brightened.

    ’Ever Eden has an amazing line of skin care products for pregnant women, I’m sure you can find it in town. You could buy the bath soap and they have a soothing Belly mask which really works.’

    ’Good one!’ He beamed and took his phone to note it down. ’And for her back? What works?’

    A grenade exploded close by and I cringed as if the shrapnels hit right in the centre of my heart. I wavered and found support at the back of the booth. ’It’s for when you’re back but my wife used to give me long massages, at night and in the morning before work. Every day until…’ I swallowed. ’I don’t know exactly what she did, but I know it made my days so much easier. Check on YouTube and search for prenatal massage maybe you can find something.’

    He typed diligently and when he finished he surprised me with a tight hug. ’You’re the best. Thank you.’

    ’Good luck.’

    ’Hey Tina.’ He turned back his hair jaunty waved in the wind. ’It’s going to be a girl!’

    ’Anddd.. Cut!’ The impetuous sea waters were colored red, each wave rolling onto the beach delivered a new wave of fake blood that creeped closer to my feet, until it surrounded me.

    1.8 Tina

    The occasional screams of seagulls mixed with the sound of the waves hitting the shore. There was a strong inward wind coming from the English Channel, and the white alabaster cliffs to the side that the sea had carved into sheer cliffs and rock arches, created a whirlwind down at the beach where I was walking. Bette had told me once that a few Impressionist artists like Monet, Boudin and Pissaro had captured the scenery on canvas, inspired by the region’s scenery and light.Placing my hand above my eyes, to shield them from the rain, I followed the birdlike craft. It seemed like it was barely moving and yet in reality it was covering many miles per minute, taking people to places, wherever their destination might be. As a kid and later too, I used to imagine those people, lucky enough to sit in one of those seats, in the rows of chairs with white antimacassars at the headrests, with the little window overlooking endless skies. I fantasized about the places they were heading, the things they would do and the miracles they would see. I dreamed of faraway places, exotic countries, thrilling cities and mystical sites. Where the food would be seasoned with peculiar spices, the smells divine, the natives friendly and welcoming, the colors vibrant. How I desired back then to be one of those people one day. I imagined them flying to their long lost loved ones, their hearts filled with longing, anticipation and joy. Or going on a honeymoon or a long, well deserved holiday. Or simply going back home. When I met Bette, that all changed. I had been right where I ought to be.

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    Comments

    1. Hey ladies,

      Welcome back!

      I do remember Renee and the story of last year. I totally loved that one but this rewrite is catching my interest as well.

      My heart is breaking for Bette and Tina, i want to cry for them and hope and wish they will find the love they once had.

      And Renee being so sick, no cure possible. The catalist for Bette returning to Paris.

      I’m looking forward to read the other parts.

    2. A re-write? I’m curious to see what you’ve changed. I loved it the first time around and was waiting for an update.
      Well, I’m off to reading now. :-)

    3. I was exciting seeing the tittle (not knowing of the meaning of 2.0 was). read the story eagerly, thinking it was another chapter of the other story. but then I read, Renee is still alive? hmm.. must be a past story, then.. I thought.. hmm.. it’s weird, the storyline seems different from the one without 2.0.
      then I read Author Note, I should have read it sooner… hehehehe.. (so sorry.. I didn’t read the author note from the beginning because how eager I was to read it) so it is different story, with almost the same background .. and now I wonder what is the difference from the other one? well… my impression reading this one is less bitterness, a lot of stubbornness from both side,, and that makes me wonder what happened with them?

      I love both stories, and can’t wait for the next one.. and thank you for sharing your work with us..

    5. I must say that this story is rather confusing to me… As you have no introduction into any background on this story. Who is Renee? Who is “I”… what’s going on… I am sorry to say that after 3 pages I simply quit reading as I still had no clue as what I was reading. If you are depending on the reader having read another story to figure out who these people are and what is going on, then you need to say so. But your story is like waking up and finding yourself somewhere you have never been before with people you do not know and why you or they are there… With any good story… you cannot assume your reader knows anything…. you must tell the reader what they need to know to get into the story..

      I do remember your last story…. but I also remember that I had a great deal of difficulty following who was talking in your dialogue sequences… thus, I had a great deal of difficulty discerning the story line… Is this Bette talking or is it Tina? I guess some enjoy that style of story telling… I will say that I enjoyed Desert Rose far more than Uncharted Territory.

      Good luck with this one. I wish you much success…

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