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    #10 Touch Tones: Alice Surmises

    Story written on January 21, 2015 by Blackbird.
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    11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 13
    Words: 4994
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=88117
    Author Notes:

    I’m just like everybody else in Tinseltown. I’m somebody waiting to be famous. But Lez Girls might be a hit! The story has all the earmarks, signs, and red light signals of an eruption waiting to happen. The movie could go straight up like a rocket or fall into the Bermuda Triangle – never to

    I’m just like everybody else in Tinseltown. I’m somebody waiting to be famous.

    But Lez Girls might be a hit! The story has all the earmarks, signs, and red light signals of an eruption waiting to happen. The movie could go straight up like a rocket or fall into the Bermuda Triangle – never to be seen or heard from again.

    Set actors Lez Girls

    But I’d like it to succeed, and I also wouldn’t mind a walk-on part. But mostly, I need to find a way to sneak onto Tina’s closed sets so I can make damn sure Elise, my character, isn’t bombing as Alice.

    Kit Vertical standing at window smile

    Back up front I see that Kit has joined Bette and Tina now, and is making a fuss over missing Angelica for the two days she was away with her parents in Santa Fe. Kit takes her hand and they walk slowly behind the counter back to Kit’s office for a visit. Bette orders her and Tina’s breakfast – the likes of which she knows by heart – and Tina’s attention is taken up by a couple who have approached. Lawyers, I guess by their dark tailored suits.

    Bette’s amperage begins, and I feel it as far away as my table. I wonder about my carping away at her for so many years. I did it with so little mercy. Prodded at her bear-like fury knowing soon the veins would pop out of her neck, and get up and dance with the scary blue curvy ones that pound at her temple.

    Bette frustrated Hand on Chest color corrected

    After all, to most everyone Bette Porter is kind of a legion, and they’d love to be her friend, swim in her pool, get drunk on her sex appeal, and laugh at her wit and sophisticated sarcasm.

    No, better strike that – in her own field she’s too young to be legendary, but in the OurChart underground universe I can attest to the fact: She’s discussed. Tina, too, of course – they each have devoted fans.

    For awhile the fact that they blindly ignored my fascinating new experiment into West Hollywood independent ”Current Happenings” journalism used to irritate the crap out of me. It wasn’t until one of their semi-public flame-outs, and I stayed up half the night reading the hundreds of comments about them, that I knew other people had been hurt and confused, too. As once perfect symbols of something other gay women aspired to, I came to realize: Bette and Tina had disappointed far more than just me.

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    Comments

    3. So many great lines…mixing up anxiety and depression pills…the Winnebago…the hoedown. ..can’t wait to read that episode. Alice…so funny. I identified with her most…not so pretty, a little nerdy as she described herself, and a bit needy. But god she had some of the best lines and facial expressions, didn’t she?

      And this “not a beginner’s starter kit”…oh jeez that made me snort!!

      Wonderful update as I’ve always come to expect from you. I hope your holiday was pleasant and restful. Welcome back!

    5. I liked the beginners’ starter kit too! But this was epic: “After all, to most everyone Bette Porter is kind of a legion, and they’d love to be her friend, swim in her pool, get drunk on her sex appeal, and laugh at her wit and sophisticated sarcasm.”
      Thanx for coming back to us ! And, yes we missed you !

    6. Here’s a comment I got via email –

      Lillian wrote: “Comment: Where do I begin…everything about this storyline was appealing.
      I can feel for Alice; she is beginning to feel out of the loop. Love how Alice covers her back by
      having the plan to use Jenny as her scape goat is need be.
      Cute…Tasha’s a #Republican…She’s going to earnestly #FuckMeOver…(good thinking of placing this in)
      Funny, but true..Shane is not a beginner’s Starter Kit…Bette would know that for sure.
      If someone has a crush on a person…she isn’t going to take advice…law of nature.
      The best part for me is: “After all to most everyone Bette Porter is kind of a legion,
      & they love to be her friend, swim in her pool, get drunk on her sex appeal, laugh at her
      wit & sophisticated sarcasm…who does this remind you of: Jennifer Beals and her
      fans adoration…yes, I am in that fan club…
      Anxiously awaiting for the continuation….”

    7. ” she’s like a masterful or very lucky sailor who’s managed to swing her bow back around, and once again, skillfully catch her sails with the wind.”…….love it …..as well as the other”epic lines” Ben Mac referenced…must be quite a drag for Bette &Tina to live in the fish bowl that is West Hollywood …..can’t wait for Alice to meet Bette’s mom…oh what “wit and sophisticated sarcasm “there will be…thanks BB!

    8. So many bits of snappy dialogue and insight in this installment SHOULD be “lingering” in my mind, and yet the one that is? “Lingering like a far in an elevator.” What am I, twelve?

    10. I love that you all have pulled little zings of dialogue out -the lines that were memorable to you and that you felt something reading. I do love everyone of the lines you’ve brought up, so far, especially the one about Bette being a masterful or very lucky sailor and somehow catching her sails once again with the wind. I felt the energy of that line when I wrote it.

      Another favorite of mine, that still makes me laugh when I read it is, the description of Bette that Alice coalesces when she says that women are holding out hope that Bette may once again lose her mind and her morals and “lie once against amongst the lesbian proletariat.”

      That tickled me when Alice brought that up. It was just another in a long list of Bette’s “ooops, and fuck ups” that have had such unintended consequences for her and everyone else.

      So! Hey Everybody! Thanks so much for reading and letting me know you are enjoying the tale, and Season 7 as I’m spooling it out for your enjoyment.

      Blackbird

    11. You as always maintaining a high standard in this
      history as a rich dialogue in describing bette and Tina, and
      his legion of fans.
      Awaiting new chapter.
      10 Stars.

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