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    #10 Touch Tones: Alice Surmises

    Story written on January 21, 2015 by Blackbird.
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    11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 511 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 13
    Words: 4994
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=88117
    Author Notes:

    Somehow the details of their latest debacle would always get out, and almost to the word I knew if I were ever challenged I could blame all the leaks and mischief about them on Jenny, my god-gifted scapegoat. It helped me sleep at night anyway. Jenny has, and no doubt will continue to be, very

    Somehow the details of their latest debacle would always get out, and almost to the word I knew if I were ever challenged I could blame all the leaks and mischief about them on Jenny, my god-gifted scapegoat. It helped me sleep at night anyway.

    Jenny has, and no doubt will continue to be, very good for business. Not that Bette’s stopped her incessant ire long enough to think about it, but Jenny’s script turned into Tina’s movie will likely bring her well over a million dollars. That is if it doesn’t sink, but can swim. Or better yet – like the wild motherfucker ”we” need it to be – takeoff and fly into the box office. Because if it does that we might all get rich.

    I’m just saying.

    It’s not my fault they make great copy, or that Tina used to sleep with a beguiling heiress named Helena, after her ”to die for” Bette, to quote a frequent poster, had slipped off with the carpenter. That single, and I’m sure in Bette’s mind far from a class-oriented sexual decision, has ignited my blog with years and years of false hopes that Bette might once again lose her mind, and her morals, and slip down to lie again – amongst the lesbian proletariat.

    At times I could have sworn I was more upset by their separation than they were, but I wasn’t dating a Peabody heiress, or a renown sculptor, or an Ad Man named Henry, or a carpenter known as Candace, who was sometimes referred to in code between me and Shane simply as Hell’s Beginnings.

    I sigh sadly. It’s so true. The sight of them together again makes me miss the good old days. The ones I had no idea were even happening when my morning’s fleeting nostalgia suddenly dissipates, and I feel once more how incredibly pissed off I am at Tasha. Going on for three days now it’s unbelievable to me! Tasha and her over righteous, loftier than mine ethics can go fuck themselves in some faux ethical faux fuck-fucking place.

    And just like a fool I’d bought into it! Nodded yes that her ”core values” were so much better than mine. Then, it hits me. Tasha’s a Republican. She’s going to ”earnestly” fuck me over.

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    Comments

    3. So many great lines…mixing up anxiety and depression pills…the Winnebago…the hoedown. ..can’t wait to read that episode. Alice…so funny. I identified with her most…not so pretty, a little nerdy as she described herself, and a bit needy. But god she had some of the best lines and facial expressions, didn’t she?

      And this “not a beginner’s starter kit”…oh jeez that made me snort!!

      Wonderful update as I’ve always come to expect from you. I hope your holiday was pleasant and restful. Welcome back!

    5. I liked the beginners’ starter kit too! But this was epic: “After all, to most everyone Bette Porter is kind of a legion, and they’d love to be her friend, swim in her pool, get drunk on her sex appeal, and laugh at her wit and sophisticated sarcasm.”
      Thanx for coming back to us ! And, yes we missed you !

    6. Here’s a comment I got via email –

      Lillian wrote: “Comment: Where do I begin…everything about this storyline was appealing.
      I can feel for Alice; she is beginning to feel out of the loop. Love how Alice covers her back by
      having the plan to use Jenny as her scape goat is need be.
      Cute…Tasha’s a #Republican…She’s going to earnestly #FuckMeOver…(good thinking of placing this in)
      Funny, but true..Shane is not a beginner’s Starter Kit…Bette would know that for sure.
      If someone has a crush on a person…she isn’t going to take advice…law of nature.
      The best part for me is: “After all to most everyone Bette Porter is kind of a legion,
      & they love to be her friend, swim in her pool, get drunk on her sex appeal, laugh at her
      wit & sophisticated sarcasm…who does this remind you of: Jennifer Beals and her
      fans adoration…yes, I am in that fan club…
      Anxiously awaiting for the continuation….”

    7. ” she’s like a masterful or very lucky sailor who’s managed to swing her bow back around, and once again, skillfully catch her sails with the wind.”…….love it …..as well as the other”epic lines” Ben Mac referenced…must be quite a drag for Bette &Tina to live in the fish bowl that is West Hollywood …..can’t wait for Alice to meet Bette’s mom…oh what “wit and sophisticated sarcasm “there will be…thanks BB!

    8. So many bits of snappy dialogue and insight in this installment SHOULD be “lingering” in my mind, and yet the one that is? “Lingering like a far in an elevator.” What am I, twelve?

    10. I love that you all have pulled little zings of dialogue out -the lines that were memorable to you and that you felt something reading. I do love everyone of the lines you’ve brought up, so far, especially the one about Bette being a masterful or very lucky sailor and somehow catching her sails once again with the wind. I felt the energy of that line when I wrote it.

      Another favorite of mine, that still makes me laugh when I read it is, the description of Bette that Alice coalesces when she says that women are holding out hope that Bette may once again lose her mind and her morals and “lie once against amongst the lesbian proletariat.”

      That tickled me when Alice brought that up. It was just another in a long list of Bette’s “ooops, and fuck ups” that have had such unintended consequences for her and everyone else.

      So! Hey Everybody! Thanks so much for reading and letting me know you are enjoying the tale, and Season 7 as I’m spooling it out for your enjoyment.

      Blackbird

    11. You as always maintaining a high standard in this
      history as a rich dialogue in describing bette and Tina, and
      his legion of fans.
      Awaiting new chapter.
      10 Stars.

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