Rejected I feel the itch as my instincts screamed at me to run away. But she says my name softly as if it is a prayer, wheeling me back in. I look at you once again. “I’m not asking you to love me” I say hating the fact that my voice is breaking. And I can only stare as thoughts swirl in my head. All I’m asking is for a chance to prove I can be better. Please, Jenny, take this shot on us being together. Don’t close your walls please let me in, please.

“It was just one night. Lets just forget it.” There is pleading in your soft voice like you know you simply won’t win, is edging like the double-edged blade you used that day, and it cuts us both ways. “What ever” I whisper, letting it go as I turn around, and angrily swipe away my tears. You shift behind me and throw your arms around me. I can feel the ripples your gentle movement causes the atmosphere surrounding me. Holding me. Choking me up. I feel like I can’t get enough air into my body, like I can’t breathe deep enough to make this black spot on my memory fade away, I feel the tears springing to my eyes I don’t wanna cry I won’t cry I won’t. Not in front of you anyhow.

From my weakness I draw my strength and yank myself away from you, my body screaming to the comfort of your arms. I throw my jacket on and take one last look back, staring directly at you. I stop for just a moment as I see tears slowly forming in your eyes as you call my name, before I walk out the door into the night.

As I come in she’s there crowding my kitchen stool looking just as fucked up as me, but I don’t manage to feel sympathy for her. The muscles on my neck tighten up with the thought of her ***** Jenny right under my roof. I say her name with venom “Moira”. She nods her head at me and says my name with the same cordiality.

I ask where was she yesterday she says she went out. I want to hit her so bad. I tell jenny was worried. She makes an unfortunate comment womanizing Jenny. It hits home run and I end up flying over her, with a thud we fall to the floor and we go at it other frantically. Jenny hears the mess comes running and screams at us to stop. But her desperation only fuels my attacks at her girlfriend. I’m hitting her repeatedly. I can’t stop, she tells me to stop.