I can’t stop. She pulls me away from her girlfriend and stands between us, please stop she says. Breathing rapidly my eyes soften up while looking at her. Moira yells “Don’t look at her like that, you *****” wrapping her arms around Jenny protectively. I clench my jaw trying to recollect, but that’s the last straw and once more I lose it lunging for her.

Right then I’m caught by surprise when Jenny threw a punch catching my left cheek. To tell ya the truth, I really wasn’t expectin’ her to strike me. I shook off the aftereffects of the punch and just stared at her narrowing my eyes with total disbelief. She gave me a pleading look, and I could tell that she didn’t wanna fight me over this. So I flee.

I was utterly stoned when I returned home. I stumbled forwards as I enter my bedroom, falling face first on the floor. My elbow smashed against the side of the bed and I swore loudly. Not caring if she wakes up. She enters my room and it seems it always comes back to this. The ache is still there, pressing burning in my chest. Why? Why can’t I just let it go? She makes me feel so alive but then instantly takes it all away.

“Shane?” her voice is leaden with sleep and confusion. I grunt at her, trying to put my hands beneath me to push myself off the floor. A stab of pain shoots up my arm when I attempt to do so. So I stay lying there my face pressed to the floor, my eyes opened and starring. She pulls my arm in an effort to help me up. I yank it away from her stumbling into her get my balance. I sit down slumped forward, my elbows on my knees as I push my fingers into my hair, covering my face and I focusing my eyes on the floor, my head throbs. Yes, I’m a mess. Run away now Jenny.

Instead she pries my hands away from my face gently and lifts my chin making me look at her. “I’m sorry. . .” she says raising her arm up and gently touching the injured side of my face but I flinched at the contact and pulled away, furrowing my eyebrows at her. She pulled her hand away, looking dejected. Indifferent I didn’t say anything, tough I had already forgiven. I couldn’t tell her that her presence was enough, that I was afraid she would never look at me anymore, that she’d pack and leave with her girl and move on to be happily ever after with out me. My pride kept me from that.