Since I’m not able to do that I wanted you to know that until you come home

I wake alone

but for the thought of you.

Another day begins.

I stop for a moment and remember your glance

and how it makes my heart race.

Thoughts of work begin to fade.

I close my eyes and grow weak

from the memory of your touch.

My day ends and I return home.

I think of your kiss,

and how it leaves me breathless.

I sleep alone

but for the thought of you.

Always,

Bette

The night Bette had described was one she would have planned in the beginning of their relationship.  Things had definitely changed over the years.  She had worried at first that Bette wanted her back just because she couldn’t stand to lose, but Bette was really trying.  I should have told her that I’ve forgiven her.  She deserves to know.

She wanted her response to express how much hope she had for them because of the progress they had made with their talks.  She didn’t want to mislead Bette into thinking they were close to reconciling.  She was still so hurt and at times confused by the way she felt.  She had been able to control her anger, for the most part, but it was still there.  Foxworthy had accused her of sandbagging.  He told her she would actually do more harm to their relationship if she didn’t find a way to express her anger.  She reminded him of the harm she did expressing her anger the night she found out about Bette’s affair.  She just wasn’t ready and if that meant she was sandbagging then so be it!

She wanted to read the letter again and call Bette.  She wanted to try to stay positive.  She would have to deal with the rest soon enough.

Tina woke with a stiff neck, ‘what the’ she looked at the clock – it was almost 3:00.

‘I can’t believe I fell asleep, Bette is going to go ballistic!’

As she reached for the phone she noticed the message light was blinking.  As she listened to the message her heart sank.

‘It’s 11:30 I just wanted to call and make sure you had gotten in.  The desk clerk said you had checked in and dinner was sent up on time.  I hope everything was all right.  When you didn’t call I wasn’t sure if I should be worried, hurt or angry.  At least I don’t have to worry since I know you arrived safely.  I’m sorry if the letter  Tina I apologize, again, for bringing us to this horrible place, but I won’t apologize for trying to bring us back.  Good night.’