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If I Fall: Chapter 18
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"Just hear me out."
"No. No way." Before Dana could protest further she stood up and walked out of the room.
"What? Why?" Dana asked, following closely behind. But Shane abruptly turned around and threw her arms up in the air.
"Do I really need to list all the reasons that you should just let Alice be right now?"
"Well, no I mean—after hearing about what happened last night, I just thought you’d support this. And from the beginning you always said how hard it was that Alice and I were the last people to realize that we were in love with each other, and we wasted all this time not manning up and just going for it. I thought you’d be happy that I’m acknowledging this and actually doing something about it."
"Happy, Dane? I’m thrilled you realized that walking out on the love of your life because you were scared was a huge fucking mistake. But I’m sorry if I can’t help you try to dismantle the progress Alice has made since you left her. Especially now since you’re experiencing some kind of latent guilt over what happened."
"It’s not guilt Shane! I have genuine feelings for Al and I know now that breaking up with her was just a move to preempt any heartache I thought I’d put her through by not loving her the way she deserved. So I left in order for her to find someone who can do that."
"And so what if now she has? Why can’t you just stick to Plan A and let her move on?"
"Because I realized what a stupid plan it was. Shane, I can’t deny the way I feel about Alice, and she shouldn’t be denying the way she feels about me just in the name of moving on."
"You left her no other choice Dana!"
"Don’t you think I know that? Everyday I have to live with the fact that I set this whole thing in motion simply because of some irrational fear. And I’m not blaming Alice or anything, but she changed while we were together. She went from being this uber-confident woman who always knew how to laugh things off, to like, a really insecure, overwhelming mess. And I realize that I’m just as insecure as her, if not more when it comes to love. But, I think I was just so used to being insecure and having Alice there to quell all my fears. So when she became just as insecure about our relationship as I was, I guess I kind of just fed into that and figured if she felt so unsure, I must be justified for feeling like I do. But that was wrong, I realize that. I was terribly, terribly wrong." She wiped the single tear that had fallen down her cheek and looked up at Shane earnestly. "God, I just want a chance to make it right with her. To show her that I’ve learned how badly I fucked things up and that I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her…showing her how much I love her, Shane. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life making her feel like she’s the only one for me…because I know she is. I knew it then but I was too afraid to admit it. And I’m just…so damn tired of living this lie."
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Damn right she can…although the Julish reconciliation vexes me, mostly because I too am waiting for the other shoe to drop and Dana to get flat-out rejected and heartbroken. It’s wrong of me to want them to reconcile and be happy when they haven’t worked through their stuff, but dammit they freaking need to. Oh, and don’t feel obligated to post. I’m assuming you’ll be busy with law-school-esque things, and those take precedence over any type of Danish fiction. Think of your career! Wow, I’m really rambling. This is what not sleeping for three days will do to your brain.
Great update – with Shane on the job, I hope she can make them come together. PPS
god i want alice to be happy she deserves it so much…and dana is it but i like jules too shes a great character..buuuuuut dana its always been dana and always will thats what i reckon anyway lol i love this story so much you write so well good job:)
Someone has been busy writing! (yay for us readers – though I get the impression it is going to get worse for danish before it gets better…
screw your career. POST soon dammit! man… i have a headache. I hear Alice and Shane talking and think- Dana really did foul this up– and i’m still not sure why- and what’s changed, really? why SHOULD Alice believe her– other than she really wants to and loves her. i’m mad at dana. but i also adore her and don’t want her heartbroken plus i know she is who Alice needs and wants…. see-this is why you need to post. i am looking forward to seeing how Dana handles seeing Alice with Jules that evening- i’ll wring her neck if she runs. : )
i love this story. it’d be too much to hope that shane taped dana’s confession right? that’d be an asshole move, but alice needs to hear everything dana said. argh.
The only thing I don’t like about each chapter of your story is that eventually each one ends. I just want them to go on and on! I look forward to the next update as time permits.