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    If I Fall: Chapter 18

    Story written on April 13, 2007 by swismiss24.
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    34 votes, average: 3.82 out of 534 votes, average: 3.82 out of 534 votes, average: 3.82 out of 534 votes, average: 3.82 out of 534 votes, average: 3.82 out of 5 (34 votes, average: 3.82 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 10997
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=65349
    Author Notes:

    Danish stuff; Shane to the rescue, Alice re-commits herself–but to who?

     

    "Well that’s great Dana. I’m glad after seven months you’re able to admit how you truly feel about her. But what about Alice? Where’s her say in all this? You leave her because you can’t deal with what she needs from you. And now you’re ready to swoop back in the second she could be happy with someone else? Where was all this self-actualization when Alice really needed you?"

     

    "I wasn’t ready to admit it then," she stammered. "I just…I didn’t know how to love her the way she needed to be."

     

    "No Dane, you didn’t want to love her the way she needed to be. It was too difficult for you, so you took off. Look, I’m sorry if I sound harsh; please don’t think I’m judging you here. I know you did what you had to do, and I’m certainly no one’s moral compass when it comes to commitment. And trust me, I understand a lot of what you’re saying since I tend to do similar things when it just gets too intense. But Al’s my best friend. And I’m just saying, you may want her back now…but you weren’t there for her when she needed you the most. You can’t just pretend like all that didn’t happen, and that you didn’t shatter both your hearts in the process. I’m sorry, Dane. I love you, but that’s just fucking selfish."

     

    "I know," she whispered at a decibel so low even she wasn’t sure if a sound came out. "I don’t want to be selfish Shane, I don’t. But what else am I supposed to do?" The silent tears that fell were now coming out in sobs as she spoke. "I love her. I love her so much it’s like I can’t even look at her sometimes. And now I’m finding it hard to even look at myself. I have so much regret and so much frustration over the fact that I let her go, I’m not even sure what to do with myself."

     

    "Dane, I’m not sure I fully understand where all this suddenly came from? I thought you were moving on with Lara."

     

    "Lara was just an easy out. I mean, I care about her very much, she’s a great girl. And I wanted for it to work with us, I really did. But it’s done. She’s gone. And I pushed her away so hard and so far that I left her no other choice but to give up. She tried, you know? She really tried to make it work this time around…but I wasn’t the same person anymore. Before I was with Al, Lara seemed to be a good fit for me. But then, after Alice…I don’t think anyone else can compare."

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    Comments

    1. Damn right she can…although the Julish reconciliation vexes me, mostly because I too am waiting for the other shoe to drop and Dana to get flat-out rejected and heartbroken. It’s wrong of me to want them to reconcile and be happy when they haven’t worked through their stuff, but dammit they freaking need to. Oh, and don’t feel obligated to post. I’m assuming you’ll be busy with law-school-esque things, and those take precedence over any type of Danish fiction. Think of your career! Wow, I’m really rambling. This is what not sleeping for three days will do to your brain.

    3. god i want alice to be happy she deserves it so much…and dana is it but i like jules too shes a great character..buuuuuut dana its always been dana and always will thats what i reckon anyway lol i love this story so much you write so well good job:)

    4. Someone has been busy writing! (yay for us readers – though I get the impression it is going to get worse for danish before it gets better…

    5. screw your career. POST soon dammit! man… i have a headache. I hear Alice and Shane talking and think- Dana really did foul this up– and i’m still not sure why- and what’s changed, really? why SHOULD Alice believe her– other than she really wants to and loves her. i’m mad at dana. but i also adore her and don’t want her heartbroken plus i know she is who Alice needs and wants…. see-this is why you need to post. i am looking forward to seeing how Dana handles seeing Alice with Jules that evening- i’ll wring her neck if she runs. : )

    6. i love this story. it’d be too much to hope that shane taped dana’s confession right? that’d be an asshole move, but alice needs to hear everything dana said. argh.

    7. The only thing I don’t like about each chapter of your story is that eventually each one ends. I just want them to go on and on! I look forward to the next update as time permits.

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