“I didn’t think I was gonna see you again” she said smiling

“Yeah well…. sometimes things are not like we expect”

“No they aren’t….” I’m like very nervous, and I don know why… she doesn’t bite… used to but- FUCK stop thinking about sex!

“So…. Um… last time, I know it was kind of a mess with me you know kind of running out on you and all, and not to mention me not talking or saying anything to you after 5 years, so yeah um-”

“You’re rambling”

“Am I?” shit I AM! She starts laughing

“Yeah you are”

“Sorry…. So um, what have you been up to?” up to? She s in a freaking hospital you moron what do you think she’s being up to NOTHIG! She smiles; probably thinking I’ve gotten stupid in 5 years “No, I mean how are you?”

“It’s ok I got it… um… considering my heart it’s a peace of shit right now … I’m ok”

 She said that with a serous face looking at me… she means that in a literal way Carmen don’t even…. Or does she?… change the subject NOW

“And the girls? Where are the girls, are they coming?”

“They are coming later today… its 9am in a Sunday you know… you still wake up at 7:30 don’t you?”…….. I do……

“I guess, yes”

“… So you’re married!” she said that with a fake smile, that faded away as soon as she said it

“… Yes, yes… I’m happy you know, she’s great”

“I’m sure she is…she’s hot thou, I give her that…I used to love her movies”

“Used to?”

“Yeah, now… well lets just say she took away something really special from me.”

“Um… so you tell be about you about the past 5 years…”

“Um… I’ve been alright you know…  same as always…well atleast for the first 3 years… now, well… I’ve learned that my heart has a limit”

“Are you scared about the operation?”

“No”

“Not even a little?”

“…. No”

“Why are you like that? You know Shane…. you can be scared…. It makes you fucking human…You don’t have to be tough every moment every minute…Its ok to let down your guard… in facts there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… so stop… you’re not fooling anyone”