Bette’s thoughts of her contempt for Avery were interrupted by the opening of the room, Tina entered unobtrusively, giving Helena a small nod, without disturbing Avery, Bette looked at her out of the corner of her eye, Tina didn’t look back, she remained with her eyes fixed on Jackson the whole time, her hands crossed over her chest holding up her coat, she wasn’t in work clothes, she was coming from her day off, she would be on duty for the afternoon shift.

Avery continued to talk, Bette looked at Tina without taking her eyes off her, when Jackson finally finished Bette asked the question.

Risks.

This was a good question, that rookie had talked about many things, except the risks that Bette could encounter.

The boy seemed taken aback but Helena intervened ”they are more about recovery… after Bette… it will be hard, the pace of life, you will have to work hard, you will feel weak for a while but then everything will change.”

”if I get out of this alive…”

The room suddenly went silent. For a moment Tina wanted to turn her face towards the brunette, but instead she continued to stare at strange points in the room. She wanted to advise Bette to trust, that perhaps it was her last train but…

”I don’t mean to do that…” Bette said softly and Tina looked up at the brunette, her gaze like she’d just taken a cold shower. Bette wasn’t looking at her, her gaze was blank and lifeless.

”Bette…” Avery began ”I know it’s risky but…”

”I think I’ll make my life as good as Jackson is…you can have fun with other patients…even if my life is short, it will be enough.” Bette said flatly.

”But…” Avery tried again.

”I don’t feel like fighting, not anymore…” Bette finished.

Helena tried to open her mouth but Peggy stopped her ”ok…” the older woman said turning to Bette ”ok…” she repeated putting her hand on Bette’s ”let’s take some time ok? we’ll talk about it next week…after the course of medicine you have to finish my dear.” Peggy showed Bette a genuine smile, she had known her since she was ten, she knew how to handle her. Bette watched her without speaking, Peggy slipped away in front of her signaling the residents to go away and with them Jackson, only Helena tried to move forward but Bette looked away, a sign that invited her to leave.