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    Missing. 9

    Story written on February 9, 2007 by New Dawn Fades.
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    13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5 (13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 5159
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64431
    Author Notes:

    My love…Your light…Incantations… Struck stars…Like tears fall…The sequence ends.

     

     

    There have been a few key moments in my strange life with her. Some of them involving her eyes….some of them just involving her.

     

     

      Like waking up and finding her to be real flesh and blood. That first kiss I had with her in that hospital room at L.L.L. I will never tell her because it would hurt her. And she will deny it and call me a liar but she wasn’t kissing me. She was kissing “her.” And I hated Shane for it. How could she make me feel like that? Like I was on fire and have it not be for me. It drove me insane. I could however, feel myself respond to her. And I knew on some kind of physical level that the warmth spreading through me was my body responding to the person who knew exactly how I wanted it. The next key moment had to have been Shane telling me she would fall in love with me all over again.

     

     

    Her eyes again green and soulful telling me. Me. The Carmen that I am now, that she would get to know me. And love me. The fights. The sex. Shane and me, me and Shane. And those eyes searching me trying to tell me over and over that I wasn’t some dead soul to her. That the flesh and blood human that I am is what she wanted. I didn’t believe her. But I was so into how she made me feel sexually that I mistook it for love. Then a strange thing started to happen. I got to know Shane. I began to see Shane as I wanted to see her. I stopped looking at her through “her” eyes and instead I began to see her through my eyes. I earned them they where mine after all. And what did I see? I saw a woman who lived a dark and disturbing life. A woman who was a machine. A goddess of blood and violence and darkness. And I have to admit that I liked it. I loved how dangerous Shane was. I love how dangerous she is. But in finding this love with her this feel for everything that is dramatic, I realized that danger to Shane was coffee to others. And I began to fear that, Shane at times wanted death almost like people wanted life. Then something else started to happen. Shane gave it all up. And for a while a little while we lived in bliss. We where happy.

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    Comments

    1. This is so beautiful. The fact that you put Deftones in there…that song especially is the icing on the cake. I won’t wax, but I love this story. Very intense and well-constructed. The dynamics come through so neatly even when the plot gets messy. LOL. A true work of art IMO 8)

    2. thogut that sharmen fans are calmer than other ship fans. like shane. haha.. hellcat! i can call carmen from now. shane’s “goodbye trip” is like a summary all of your fanfics. actually am i not a huge fan of songs but you made me look for that featurin songs.

    3. god this was soo cool…. it made MY heart thump, thump, haha…. i’m so inlove with them… with the story. this is so awesome. OMG rge hellcat thing was great….i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    4. That last piece was beautiful. That hug, such a simple thing to do, but it means so much to someone like Carmen, who had thought she lived in someone else’s shadow, who had thought she was just a body to Shane, a reminder. But now she’s okay, and Shane’s okay, and they owe that to each other and that insanely intense love they share. That’s fricken awesome. (B-Sides and Rarities. It’s a damn good album. I love the “No Ordinary Love” cover; it sounds so twisted. Kind of reminds me of this story.)

    5. I finally caught up and Im really sad you are going to stop after this. Ive enjoyed all your stories and really, they were the only reason why I kept coming back to read Fan Fics. I just want to say thank you for keeping this couple going and seeing how amazing they are together.

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