The major of all the key movements in my life with Shane had to be her dealing with the anniversary of her lost love. Shane was a shell with a protective ball around it. She would never admit it to me but I could see it plain as day she missed who I use to be. She missed the way “they” where. And just like that our perfect life was interrupted. Then something remarkable happened. Shane said goodbye to her lost love. And for once I didn’t take it personal. I had a frank discussion with myself and I told myself that Shane of all people on this weird place called Earth simply wouldn’t do something she didn’t want to. Shane can’t lie. She is incapable of lying. She will lie to herself but never to me. And when Shane told me she loved me I believed her.

Sometimes when Shane talks I can’t hear her. I am so focused on when the door will close. When company will leave. When will I feel her silky skin her furious kisses. Sometimes I can’t hear a word coming out of her mouth because I want it on me so bad I lose track of the words

When we hit the road in search of our son and Shane suggested we steal for what we needed. I was so there with her, because I wanted to do anything for her. And when I made that stupid mistake of trying to mark that guy in Texas and he turned the tables on me, I felt it. That fear that gives you wings. And I say wings only because I knew I was dead. I knew that as soon as he did that to me he was going to have to kill me. My soul screamed for Shane as he hit me. I fought with everything I had. And I felt it…nudging against me. Then she was there my “angel of death.” Infamous. Deadly. With the gun in place she could have done it. She could ended his life just like that. A quick snap of my fingers and she would have obeyed and killed him.

Key moment was my hand on hers. The key moment was me telling Shane no. Telling Shane that he was not worth it. Her story earlier….about the old me wanting to kill the father of my baby and how Shane didn’t want her to do that. How could it be anything but love between us? Killing Conrad Voynow. Self defense yes? He was going to kill Shane. And with Shane dead he would have certainly killed me and Marco. I did what any parent would do. I protected my child and my love.