Fan Fiction
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September
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“Peggy, we talked before I made the decision to take the job. She knows I have obligations to you, but I’ve committed to her that I will be there for her.”
“Bette. Do you hear yourself? You need mutual commitment and understanding as well as knowing the expectations. She needs to be there for you as much as you are there for her. You need to define what that means to each of you. You can’t put all the demands on yourself.”
“I know that. It’s just easier for me to make the demands on myself. She’s got enough to do with preparing her body. She’s doing this incredible thing for us.”
“I understand that dear but think about this. All that Tina has done to get her body ready for this pregnancy are preparations that she did before. It took her two years to conceive and almost a year with the same donor that you are using now. Have you considered how she will react if she doesn’t conceive with the first try or maybe not even with the second or third try? She became very depressed over this before. The insemination became laborious for the both of you to where you lost the intimacy of your sexual relationship. Have you talked about how you are going to cope with the disappointments if conceiving doesn’t happen for a few months?”
“We said we would consider alternatives if she can’t conceive after a while. We didn’t do that last time.”
“Well that’s a good start but until you decide to give up on her trying and use an alternative you’re still going to need to deal with the day to day stresses. If you end up using an alternative you might succeed in having the baby but at what cost to Tina’s self-esteem? She can’t go into this thinking that she’s a failure if she isn’t able to have the baby herself. She needs to believe that regardless of how the baby comes into your life the most important thing is that you have the family that you’d hoped and dreamed about. Not being able to conceive and give birth doesn’t take anything away from her or from the experience.”
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Great Post, thank you.
SG
Thank you SassyGran. Glad you enjoyed it.
Great job Peggy. Fortunately, Tina and Bette have had some this conversation a 18 months ago when they were reconciling. They talked about Tina’s role in keeping the two apart during the pregnancy. Tina admitted that she stayed with Helena because she felt loved, appreciated and gratified with the attention. She admitted that she was not ready to allow Bette to fully participate in the pregnancy but didn’t have an explanation as to why. Was she punishing Bette for all the problems she had getting pregnant? Tina did admit that she never really considered what her actions were doing to Bette. She only considered her feeling and desires at the moment, That was obvious when Bette was taken by complete surprise when Tina said she wanted to move back in with Bette just prior to the baby’s birth. Anyway, this is a good time for Tina to see Emma and rehash some of those things. Why did she keep pushing Bette away? There is something more to the reasons Bette and Tina separated to begin with. Perhaps Tina is still not aware of what that is, but she needs to bring them to the surface so they will not cause the same response. And what is she going to do to avoid the same reaction with this pregnancy and the attempts which are bound to happen? How is she going to keep from feeling like a failure when each month the test say there is no baby?
Bette and Tina are in a better place and they are communicating better. They have made some drastic changes in their lives just recently. New jobs for both which are entrepreneurial in nature and call for more hours and more stress to get off the ground. Now Bette has accepted the Director of the Peabody Foundation which is somewhat of an unknown as to the amount of hours and stress in that job. They are both older by eight years and have a precocious little girl who will need her parents as much as ever. Perhaps they need to see Emma before the insemination starts. Peggy is right. Tina has to pledge to be there for Bette and their family just as much as Bette does. But she must do more than pledge, she must be ready with the tools and skills to avoid the pitfalls of her history so there won’t be a repeat.
Great bit of writing. The story of the search for the donor was priceless. I agree with Bette. I was funny unless you’re the one trying to get pregnant. Nice way to use some of the canon of TLW. There were so many little incidents like those that some times we just forget. And with stories like this, we can enjoy the enhanced version.
Thank you for this chapter….
Hi Martha, as usual your observations are very insightful. Many of your thoughts will be addressed in the next chapter or two. Thanks for reading and reminding me that Bette and Tina did discuss some of this when they got back together.
Great writing BAT2012!!!!
Peggy is so right and i am glad that Bette takes her advice in consederation and acknowlegde it.
Bette and Tina spoke about that time, but it is important that Tina looks to herself and be open about her feelings, her fears and actions.
I think Martha made good points in her comment.
Thanks for this wonderful chapter!
Bibi28. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Tina will definitely be encouraged to do some more introspection. Really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.