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September
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“I’m so sorry Bette.”
“You talked the other night about how devoted Helena was to Winnie when she was pregnant with Wilson, well Tina said the same thing. Helena made her feel so beautiful and desirable even in her last couple of months before the baby was born. Even though she recognized me as the baby’s other mother she continued to date Helena until she was in her 8th month. Peggy it killed me to see them together while Tina was carrying my child. The only thing that kept me sane was the knowledge that I was the baby’s mother no matter what. So, you can see why it’s so important for me to make this time intimate loving and special for us. We are using the same donor so Angie will have a full sibling. There was never any “otherness” for Angelica. She’s a perfectly well-adjusted bi-racial child with two moms and the same will be said for her brother or sister. Tina raised Angie on her own 50% of the time until she was six years old. Even though I’ve been in Angie’s life from the day she was born I didn’t have joint custody until she was 18 months old. We stopped living together when she was six months old. Tina is an amazing mother. Her fears were so unfounded. I can’t believe how close we came to never have our Angel.”
“Angie is a pretty amazing child and I agree there is absolutely no “otherness” about her. She is a beautiful, bright, lovable child. You give Tina credit for being an amazing mother and I agree. But give yourself credit too not only for being in her life but for having a great influence on her life. She absolutely adores you Bette. I’ve never witnessed such a strong bond between a mother and child as what I have seen between you and Angie.”
“Thank you, Peggy. I appreciate you saying that. She truly is the greatest love of my life. Our love is so unconditional and pure. I feel so secure about it and never doubt that she will always love me and me her. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and truly the only good thing that came out of that period in our lives. I want this time to be what it should have been with Angie. Even if Tina doesn’t conceive right away, I want it to be the most romantic, intimate, loving, memorable time of our lives. This is going to be my ultimate ACT OF LOVE, so I’m asking if you could keep Angie for a few days so Tina and I can have our time together during her next ovulation period.”
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Great Post, thank you.
SG
Thank you SassyGran. Glad you enjoyed it.
Great job Peggy. Fortunately, Tina and Bette have had some this conversation a 18 months ago when they were reconciling. They talked about Tina’s role in keeping the two apart during the pregnancy. Tina admitted that she stayed with Helena because she felt loved, appreciated and gratified with the attention. She admitted that she was not ready to allow Bette to fully participate in the pregnancy but didn’t have an explanation as to why. Was she punishing Bette for all the problems she had getting pregnant? Tina did admit that she never really considered what her actions were doing to Bette. She only considered her feeling and desires at the moment, That was obvious when Bette was taken by complete surprise when Tina said she wanted to move back in with Bette just prior to the baby’s birth. Anyway, this is a good time for Tina to see Emma and rehash some of those things. Why did she keep pushing Bette away? There is something more to the reasons Bette and Tina separated to begin with. Perhaps Tina is still not aware of what that is, but she needs to bring them to the surface so they will not cause the same response. And what is she going to do to avoid the same reaction with this pregnancy and the attempts which are bound to happen? How is she going to keep from feeling like a failure when each month the test say there is no baby?
Bette and Tina are in a better place and they are communicating better. They have made some drastic changes in their lives just recently. New jobs for both which are entrepreneurial in nature and call for more hours and more stress to get off the ground. Now Bette has accepted the Director of the Peabody Foundation which is somewhat of an unknown as to the amount of hours and stress in that job. They are both older by eight years and have a precocious little girl who will need her parents as much as ever. Perhaps they need to see Emma before the insemination starts. Peggy is right. Tina has to pledge to be there for Bette and their family just as much as Bette does. But she must do more than pledge, she must be ready with the tools and skills to avoid the pitfalls of her history so there won’t be a repeat.
Great bit of writing. The story of the search for the donor was priceless. I agree with Bette. I was funny unless you’re the one trying to get pregnant. Nice way to use some of the canon of TLW. There were so many little incidents like those that some times we just forget. And with stories like this, we can enjoy the enhanced version.
Thank you for this chapter….
Hi Martha, as usual your observations are very insightful. Many of your thoughts will be addressed in the next chapter or two. Thanks for reading and reminding me that Bette and Tina did discuss some of this when they got back together.
Great writing BAT2012!!!!
Peggy is so right and i am glad that Bette takes her advice in consederation and acknowlegde it.
Bette and Tina spoke about that time, but it is important that Tina looks to herself and be open about her feelings, her fears and actions.
I think Martha made good points in her comment.
Thanks for this wonderful chapter!
Bibi28. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Tina will definitely be encouraged to do some more introspection. Really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.