Fan Fiction
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September
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“I take it that didn’t go over too well?”
“That’s an understatement. She said I could have the humor for both of us and stormed out of the Planet. She didn’t speak to me for weeks. What should have been the happiest time in our relationship turned out to be the beginning of the end. I was just as disappointed as she was, but she really got depressed over it. She shut down and shut me out. She ignored me and spent all her time at the gym to avoid being with me. She said she was exorcising her demons and needed to release stress. I even left work early one evening in the middle of a show – you know how I get when I do a show so that was big for me, but when I got home and asked her to spend time with me she said she had plans and I should have called first. She left the house and went to do her workout. I was sleeping by the time she got back so I didn’t even see her that night. She rebuffed any attempts I made to make it up to her and after a while I stopped trying. Our relationship was really strained, but we were determined so we kept up the search and finally we found our donor. His name was Shawn. He was an artist, very handsome, creative, healthy and Alice being bi-sexual had slept with him, so he came highly recommended and he was willing to “squirt in a cup” for us. For nine months we would make this trip to Shawn’s loft during Tina’s ovulation period to pick up the “deposit”. I went with Tina the first couple of times but after a while she said she would just go on her own. We were doing home insemination. I won’t give you all the details, but the more we tried and the more times it didn’t work the less intimate the act. After a while it almost became a chore and neither of us got any pleasure from it. Tina’s depression increased and I buried myself in my work. I would never suggest it, but I started to think that maybe Jean Paul was right. Maybe Tina should just have sex with Shawn so we could conceive “the old-fashioned way”. You know I had to be desperate for that thought to even enter my mind. As much as Tina and I were together living in a monogamous lesbian relationship for five years I still had some insecurity about her sexuality. She’d only ever been with men before me. I feared that she would start desiring them again especially when I couldn’t get her pregnant.”
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Great Post, thank you.
SG
Thank you SassyGran. Glad you enjoyed it.
Great job Peggy. Fortunately, Tina and Bette have had some this conversation a 18 months ago when they were reconciling. They talked about Tina’s role in keeping the two apart during the pregnancy. Tina admitted that she stayed with Helena because she felt loved, appreciated and gratified with the attention. She admitted that she was not ready to allow Bette to fully participate in the pregnancy but didn’t have an explanation as to why. Was she punishing Bette for all the problems she had getting pregnant? Tina did admit that she never really considered what her actions were doing to Bette. She only considered her feeling and desires at the moment, That was obvious when Bette was taken by complete surprise when Tina said she wanted to move back in with Bette just prior to the baby’s birth. Anyway, this is a good time for Tina to see Emma and rehash some of those things. Why did she keep pushing Bette away? There is something more to the reasons Bette and Tina separated to begin with. Perhaps Tina is still not aware of what that is, but she needs to bring them to the surface so they will not cause the same response. And what is she going to do to avoid the same reaction with this pregnancy and the attempts which are bound to happen? How is she going to keep from feeling like a failure when each month the test say there is no baby?
Bette and Tina are in a better place and they are communicating better. They have made some drastic changes in their lives just recently. New jobs for both which are entrepreneurial in nature and call for more hours and more stress to get off the ground. Now Bette has accepted the Director of the Peabody Foundation which is somewhat of an unknown as to the amount of hours and stress in that job. They are both older by eight years and have a precocious little girl who will need her parents as much as ever. Perhaps they need to see Emma before the insemination starts. Peggy is right. Tina has to pledge to be there for Bette and their family just as much as Bette does. But she must do more than pledge, she must be ready with the tools and skills to avoid the pitfalls of her history so there won’t be a repeat.
Great bit of writing. The story of the search for the donor was priceless. I agree with Bette. I was funny unless you’re the one trying to get pregnant. Nice way to use some of the canon of TLW. There were so many little incidents like those that some times we just forget. And with stories like this, we can enjoy the enhanced version.
Thank you for this chapter….
Hi Martha, as usual your observations are very insightful. Many of your thoughts will be addressed in the next chapter or two. Thanks for reading and reminding me that Bette and Tina did discuss some of this when they got back together.
Great writing BAT2012!!!!
Peggy is so right and i am glad that Bette takes her advice in consederation and acknowlegde it.
Bette and Tina spoke about that time, but it is important that Tina looks to herself and be open about her feelings, her fears and actions.
I think Martha made good points in her comment.
Thanks for this wonderful chapter!
Bibi28. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Tina will definitely be encouraged to do some more introspection. Really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.