Fan Fiction
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Situations
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Bette looked at Tina, then at Dana, feeling puzzled at what this was about. “Is this some kind of formal interview?” Bette asked as she watched Alice flick her notebook open and put the end of her pen between her lips, giving the impression she was contemplating how she was going to ask her question.
“Not at all, I was just thinking about a few things last night and I thought that I would ask you about them…, is that okay?” Alice added, looking over her list she had compiled.
“Here you go Baby Girl…, one pot of green tea for my favourite couple…” Kit said as she walked up to the table and placed the glass teapot on the table beside the cups and saucers.
“Thanks Kit…” Tina said began pouring out the contents.
“What you girls planning today?” Kit asked as she stood beside the table.
“Well at the moment it looks like I’m being interviewed, but I have no idea what for?” Bette smirked, winking at Tina as she took the cup Tina offered.
“Interviewed by who…, Alice?” Kit asked as she noticed Alice looking over a notebook.
“Apparently so…”
Kit raised her eyebrows as she went to walk away, “good luck with that one Baby Girl…”
Bette smiled at Kit and turned back to Alice, “so…, what did you want to ask me Al?”
Alice sat up straight, putting her glasses on she coughed slightly before saying, “I want to see if you are really normal?”
Tina laughed, “normal?”
“Yes, normal…, you know, does she do normal things that other people do…”
“I am here you know…” Bette added as she listened to Alice’s reply to Tina.
“Answer her then…” Tina said, lifting her cup to her lips.
“Well what kind of a question is it anyway…, am I normal!” Bette tutted.
“It is a reasonable question…” Alice added.
“Well that depends on who is asking it Al…” Bette said as she rolled her eyes. “So when you want to know if someone is normal, what are you judging them against to say whether they are or are not ‘normal’?”
“Just normal things.” Alice said, as if it was the most natural question in the world and not getting why Bette didn’t understand it.
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LOL Jo you can always make me laugh out loud!! Thank you for this bit of fun on a gray day in Seattle. Bette most certainly is “normal,” all except for throwing used tampons at the trash can and missing….ick!!! LOL
Not used tampons, that would be ick – just the papers they come wrapped in LOL
That was just so funny. I loved it!!! Thank you
Haha this is great. So funny! Thanks for this :)
Thanks for this series of silly questions on everyday, normal, disgusting stuff. It’s so funny! Good to see you post again, Jo. I hope all is well in your world. Cheers! =)
OMG that was so fucking funny and cute, love it. Thanks for the post ansd please post more, thanks!
Too funny.
FUNNY!Poor Bette.Thank you and PPS
Effing brilliant!! you had me in stitches thank you for this amazing post.
that has me chuckle, my wife is giving me strange looks good one xx
Oh, thank Goddess!!! I had this visual in my head that was pure ick!! LOL Thanks again Jo!!!
verry funny thank you this is amazing story!!!!
What a lovely treat! Thank you for posting
LOL…OK i dont normally”Do”the bodily functions thing…it happenens!Ideal with it!so inbetween the lol i had to feel sorry for Poor Bette..Her cover was kinda blown as the perfect hot woman..Alice as always brill..But i still think Bettes Granny pants would be cooler than anyones elses!!!Like old times enjoying a chapter from you..Nice one!
Oh Gawwwd, Jo! What have you done??? You just destroyed my Porter fantasy and ended my Bettesexual life forever!!! That first comment from Tina was soooooo not necessary!!! And the wind thing under the cover with Tina?… Gawwwd!!! Okay now, back to my Tibetteland where they don’t burp, don’t fart, don’t drool on the pillow during the night, don’t have bad breath, don’t have stinky feet,… That was hilarious though. But how come, in spite of this “wonderful” chapter of yours, I still see Bette Porter as a goddess?!!… I guess that’s what you call “love”!!! Thanks Jo… ;)
Hahahahahahaha ! This was hilarious. That being said, we all know those are big fat lies. Bette doesn’t do any of those things, come on ! Goddesses don’t ( excuse my French ) poop, let alone fart or pick their noses and they are born with make-up on, they don’t need to apply it or wash their faces. In the words of Lady Gaga, Bette was just born this way ;) I’m with Kword on this one, going back to read stories where Bette and Tina are only shown under the best light … Hahaha ! BTW, weren’t we supposed to get one last chapter of Discovering Aphrodite ? ;)
HYSTERICAL!! : I burp, I fart, I wear big pants that have gone grey in the wash…, I even pick my nose occasionally…, and they ask me if I’m normal…, of course I’m fucking normal…”…Bette in Granny Pants – Love it!! But no matter – she’s still is and always will be(along w/Tina) the Hottest Lesbian on TV. (Even if she was doing “gay for pay”…) TiBette will always be our fanfic super heroines! How many years has it been since the show stopped??!…and look at “US”…never ending! As a reader, rather than a writer…I pray to Aphrodite herself, may these authors never run out of their imagination,desire…etc. Whatever it is that keeps them going – please Goddess inspire them eternally! Gratefully Yours, Hellbent(and everyone else that continues to read)Jobadge – I still want my Flora, Fauna and Merriweather type happy ending for Discovering Aphrodite. All you have to do is wave your magic wand over your keyboard! LoL
OH – & BTW – thanx for clarifying the tampons not hitting the floor -just the paper coverings! That would have killed it for me FOR SURE! Yucky! OH – and what’s w/that “wind” thing?! Is it a Brit thing? Cause a fart is a fart, and wind(although it might sound “refined”)…wind is something Mother Nature uses to blow through her Tree-Hair! (so to speak). Now if Bette admitted to lighting her farts on fire…I might have peed in my pants laughing!
my god jobadge, you have made my fucking week, i`ve never laughed so much,please girl keep these one-offs coming,there always appreciated, much love…….jb…x
LMAO, this was hilarious…Bette Porter is normal LOL
I’ve often wondered if Bette was perfect. In the show, there aren’t any nasty little habits on display.
awsomee.!!! so funny and so true Bette always looks so perfect
Totally hilarious!
How simply wonderful was this update. THank you for this story. I read it in the office and had to control myself with not laughing out loud. Love it. Thank you.
Hahaha omg this is the funniest story I’ve ever read!
You know, Alice has the balls and dares to ask questions about things we all want to know but don’t dare to ask Way to go Alice!
I had a ball. Hilariously written. Thank you, tears are still rolling of my cheeks.