Your Secret Santa

”Bah Hum Bug asshole or whoever the hell you are!..How do you know me and know so much about my life?” I mumble as I flag down a taxi.

As much as I want to dismiss this ridiculous letter something won’t let me and as I slur out my address to the driver I stick the damn thing in my purse to read it again later after I drink the cup of coffee the letter told me to have.

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The Next Morning

Bette:

I lay here in my bed hearing an incessant pounding on my front door that joins the intense pounding in my head and reluctantly sit up hoping the knocking would stop. ”Go away” I yell as I pull my pillow over my head. There it goes again. I huff and I puff and if I could blow the house down I would. I finally get up hearing more pounding not bothering to put my robe on because I have PJ’s on anyway. I ease my feet into my slippers and glance in the mirror ”Uggh..I look like death warmed over” I mumble and make my way to the front door

I threw open the door and began barking like a chihuahua at the man standing on the other side.” Who are you and why are beating on my door at 7 in the morning. Can you not see looking at this face that I have not had my proper beauty rest now go away and goodbye!” I yell at him and go to slam the door but he stops me and hands over another letter

”Oh Great.” I say sarcastically and take the letter out of his hand. I look at him and he just walks away and I look to see a stretched limousine parked out in the street. ”Hey! What’s that for?” I yell out to him. He turns and yells back ”Read the letter” I roll my eyes. ”This is fucking ridiculous” I mumble. Yes the Scrooge in me just loves to come out. I just feel like I’m being played with. But what else do I have to do but drink myself to oblivion and I really don’t want to do that anymore.

I sigh and take the letter out. ”Oh lovely. It’s typed. Doesn’t anyone fucking hand write anything anymore?” I complain as I read the letter.