Lara (Santa Barbara, CA)…..

Lara: [abruptly rises off the couch gasping for air]

Damn…..after all these years it still didn’t work!

Lara: Leslie!!!!

Leslie: [laughing hysterically] You should’ve seen your face!

Lara: How am I supposed to look… [she says still grasping for air] when you pinch my nose closing off my air supply when I’m sleep!!!!!

Leslie: [still laughing]

Lara: I hate your guts!

Leslie: I love what you did to your hair how did you get it to come through your nose like that?

Lara: You’re the worse sister ever!

Leslie: Awwww, thanks sis that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me and just so you know the feelings mutual if there was an Amazon back in the day I would have tried to sell you a long time ago.

Lara: [throwing a pillow at her] What are you doing here anyway?

Leslie: This is my house.

Lara: So, what’s your point?

Leslie: [grabbing a handful of white cheddar popcorn from the table then shoving them into her mouth] My house, I pop up when I want.

Lara: [sitting up completely ignores her] Where are the girls?

Leslie: Oh, there at Hi-Ho Cherry ‘O cheer camp I don’t have to pick them until tomorrow and since I had some free time on my hands I drove down here to check on you.

Lara: You mean to harass me.

Leslie: Well that too, but judging from the empty wine bottles oh I’m sorry correction jugs, taquito boxes, pints of ice cream, laffy taffy, and a push pop box you—– [bending down she picks of the Pushpop box smiling] Wow this brings back so many memories!

Lara: Why, because they promote blowjob techniques?

Leslie: I don’t have two kids for nothing. [she says winking]

Lara: [quenching her nose up in disgust] Ewwwww, I think I’m going to be sick!

Leslie: [gives her the middle finger before sitting down next to her] All, jokes aside how are you holding up?

Lara: [in a sarcastic tone] With the exception of catching my future wife lying and cheating behind my back with her ex and possibly glazed her doughnut oh, I’m doing just grrrrrrrrreat!

Leslie: How long has this been going on?

Lara: Ever since Bettes gala but then again who knows.