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All The White Horses: Part Three (3/5)
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But nothing was there, it had all but disappeared and her body was left
to look bare and hungry and desperate. She could see her ribs without
even trying. They jutted outwards, like some defiant proof of her
illness. Almost worse than the hair that was missing. Because people
lose their hair, it’s a natural part of life, but people don’t
naturally look like skeletons.
And that’s what she looked like. A fucking skeleton. Some Halloween
nightmare come to life and pressing her hand over her right breast,
Dana wondered how Alice could love her when she was like this. She was
a ghost of who she had been and the blonde surely had to be in love
with the memory of her and not the actual person. Because the actual
person was disappearing and Dana wasn’t sure when or if she would ever
return.
Maybe if she stood here long enough she could get used to it. Become
somehow immune to the sight of her body wasting away, turning her into
someone else against her will. If she just looked at herself
unflinching and honest and brutal then she could be able to convince
Alice it wasn’t bothering her that much. That she didn’t care about her
body being transformed against her own will, that it didn’t upset her
to see a lifetime of work and training evaporating like the morning dew
on blades of grass. So Dana stood and she stared.
Which was how Alice found her when she arrived at the condo fifteen
minutes later. Standing and staring, naked and vulnerable, raw and
painfully real. That was the portrait of Dana Fairbanks which greeted
her.
Hesitant in her approach, Alice lightly touched the small of Dana’s
back and murmured, “Are you all right, baby?” At the sound of Alice’s
voice, Dana turned her head and stared at her with blank eyes.
Swallowing deeply, the blonde ran her hands up and down the athlete’s
arms in an attempt to warm her up. “Why are you standing here like
this? You’ll catch cold.”
Wearing a face of concern, Alice retrieved the blanket at the foot of
the bed while Dana remained in front of the mirror. Staring at her
reflection with nothing left to recognize, the athlete said in a stark
whisper, “What do you see?”
“What, Dane?” asked Alice distractedly, draping the blanket over the
tennis player’s thin shoulders and once again trying to warm the other
woman up. Rubbing her hands up and down Dana’s arms, swift but gentle,
she said, “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”
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Wow, I know you’re an amazing writer from prior fics but you are outdoing yourself on this one. It’s truly amazing and I loved reading it. The details are fantastic. I’m hoping for a happy ending for our girls….but I’m sure you will do the story justice. Thank you!
wow…oh wow! you definitely outdid yourself on this fic. i loved how you focused so much on their unwavering love for each other despite all the changes. their relationship will only get stronger as long as they go along w/ the changes and not stubbornly hold on to the past. i don’t know a lot about cancer treatment, but shouldn’t dana have the mastectomy first and then chemotherapy? anyway, awesome story.
Crumbs!!! That was absolutley awesome, I loved it, from begininng to end. I think your such a talented writer. Besides layla, that it blows my mind. I read it twice, it is a great, great story and I can’t wait for the cont. Please post when ye can and I’m glad ye have a life now ( ;Cheers!!! Peace.
this was great and it took me all afternoon to read it I just hope that in this story dana will beat the cancer and they will have a happy ever after please post soon
This was AMAZING! after watching what i personaly thought wasn’t a great danish season, i have decided that the show should use your story for season 3 as it is PERFECT xxx
I am not fawning but I am speechless. Dayum, girl…you can write…but you already knew that. I can guess that you don’t care much about Bette and Tina. But in general, what do you think of the season so far? Dana dies in this upcoming episode. That sucks and IMO will unbalance the karma of the group. I don’t see you post very often on the MBs but would be interested in your posting your perspective.
Thanks, thanks, thanks if at least we had had the chance of this in the show :( . Great as always.
azmama – My thoughts are rarely logical but here is their twisted train during the airing of episode 310 via a post in my lame ass LJ.http://dreiser.livejournal.com/39785.html
Heartbreaking – but so much love. Don’t we all long for such a connection. I haven’t seen Series 3, but from what has been said on the boards, I can only feel that this storyline has been dreadfully mishandled and has been treated with very little sensitivity or honesty – the only redeeming feature being the way in which ED and LeH have portrayed their roles. Your story is overwhelming in its emotional impact. I wish IC would read and learn. I think I may have said it before, but you are an amazing writer and I am humbled in your presence.
wow beautiful i just read ur story not sure if i’ve read it before amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!