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All The White Horses: Part Two (2/5)
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And she would have found herself proven wrong.
“I’ll be fine on my own, Al,” Dana’s weary voice woke Alice from her
reverie and she looked at the other woman with wide eyes. Swallowing
the lump in her throat as she nodded and quickly exited the bathroom,
closing the door quietly behind her.
One minute turned into five that turned into ten that turned into
fifteen and Alice watched the clock with worried eyes as the fifteen
became twenty and then twenty five. Taking a long shower wasn’t
something that might not be unusual when it came to her but Dana didn’t
tend to enjoy the process and prided herself on the ability to finish a
shower in under three minutes. When thirty minutes passed, she decided
Dana’s well being was more important than her fear about the state of
her moral character. Knocking on the bathroom door, Alice raised her
voice and called out, “Dane? Are you okay? It’s been a half an hour.”
No reply came and Alice slowly turned the handle, shivering upon coming
to the absurd realization this was like one of those bad slasher movies
she and Helena watched on the local cable networks late at night.
Pushing the door completely open and walking inside the bathroom, she
halfway expected to see a shadowy figure dressed in a Miss Piggy mask
jump out from behind Dana’s towel rack wielding a sharpened spork. Of
course, nothing like that happened and walking towards the shower
curtain, Alice found her mind drifting to most infamous scene in Psycho
which made her release an internally bitter chuckle because the movie
named was yet another callback to why Alice had been so reluctant to
come in.
“Dane?” Alice called again, softening her voice. “I’m sorry I came in
but I got lame paranoid worried. You used to hate long showers and
you’ve been in here for awhile. You okay?”
Silence except for the steady sound of the shower and then the curtain
pulled away and Dana’s face appeared, looking wet and suspiciously
normal. “I’m good,” she reassured, giving a small smile. “I just lost
track of time.”
“You sure?” asked Alice with concern, searching Dana’s features and
wondering if the athlete’s eyes had looked red enough they were almost
bloodshot when she left her.
“I’m sure,” said Dana, smiling faintly and holding that smile as Alice
apologized again and exited the bathroom. The second that the tennis
player was alone, the smile abandoned her features and her blue eyes
squeezed tightly shut. A hoarse sob was ripped from her throat and she
rested her forehead against the tiles of the shower, feeling almost
drained of her emotions and not caring that she was shivering from the
cold and nearly every inch of her skin was pruned. Because the water
was doing what it had for the past half an hour.
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OK – I just read the first chapter and this one – dreiser – awesome. truly. funny, sweet, sad, hopeful and bittersweet. I’d expect nothing less from you though. Very well done!
That was beautiful. Awesome writing as usual. Great way to end that chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Absolute perfection. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again no doubt, but your writing is amazing. And I’m not just talking about the grammar, which is a big pet-peeve of mine, but I’m talking about the way you portray and characterize each character to form. You perfectly write and vocalize Alice and Dana (no doubt because of your love for the characters), but you also have a good sense for portraying all of the others. I know you love Helena, as do I, and I like how you are forming her as she’ll hopefully be portrayed in S3 (although I do like snarky Helena too!). I know where this story is heading, mainly from checking in at your journal for updates, and I’m still excited about it because of how it’s written. Anyway, long-winded I know, but I have to give accolades to your talent.
Awww i am soo inlove with this story! The way you write the characters is spot on! This chapter was just amazing! Please update soon
Thank you for this story. Yours are stories I can read over and over again and always love. Perfect.
Simply Awsome, I hope the actual season of Alice and Dana’s relationship is at least half as good as it is in your story, keep up the great work!!
That was great. Your writing is amazing. I love angst and there was enough to go around in this chapter. Their love confession was…beautiful. Great job.
I have read it more than one time and I found more and more things that I like in your story. I said before but danish has unbelieveble writers, thanks.
Hiya, I’m a silent lurker, BUT your stuff is great…the only other person here with as much talent to hold my attention is Ms.Layla_Gray, but you capture the couple like no one esle…keep it up and you have another fan here….Peace.
IC created the characters, but I am amazed by how well you “get” them. I’m sitting here at my desk feeling happy because Alice and Dana were able to admit their feelings for each other. At the same time there is a bittersweet feeling because there is a good chance that the overall ending of the story will not be happy. It’s sad that two people who were so well suited for each other and so in love had to waste so much time. But it makes for a great story for us. I will bide my time re-reading the first two parts until you post again. Thanks for another wonderful story.
I usually lurk, but I just had to comment. Beautiful. Your writing is simply beautiful. The character development, the story development, I feel more like a voyeur than a reader!! Thank you!
Amazing! I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time I read this story. You write Alice and Dana beautifully. I love Alice’s comments like, “you’re such a girl and yet so helpless about girly things” and Alice being so sweet with Dana while she was sick in the bathroom. Their thoughts and fears which you expressed, are things that Eileen and her writers failed to say in Season 2. I’ve always loved the playful and sarcastic aspect of their relationship- very well written. I can’t wait till your next update!
i had chills the entire time of reading this story. It was amazing the way you wrote about al and dane’s love and i so hope beyond hope that you write more. Please post soon
wow that was amazing! please post soon!
this is great I am just catching up so I hope that u have already post again