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All The White Horses: Part Two (2/5)
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Although Dana was tired and feeling miserable, she truly wanted to know
what Alice had been about to say. “What is it, Al?” she asked.
Blushing slightly when she realized she was caught, Alice said quickly,
“It’s nothing really, Dane. I was just going to say that sometimes a
cold shower makes me feel better after I throw up. You don’t have to
though. I mean, it’s just what I sometimes do and–”
“A shower sounds nice,” interrupted Dana quietly, giving Alice a wan
smile, thinking that it might help to clear her head and it would wash
away the sweat.
“Okay,” said Alice, blinking a bit and smiling hesitantly. “I’m just
going to go clean then,” she stated, waving her hand towards the
bathroom and heading in that direction. “Then I’ll be right back with
the mouthwash.”
“Thanks,” Dana replied, smiling still. She still found it so very
strange for Alice to behave so nervously around her that she couldn’t
quite bring herself to be hurt about it. The behavior was just so
totally out of character for the blonde that’s all the athlete could
manage to focus on, not the fact that it really did hurt something deep
inside of her to know that Alice didn’t feel comfortable with her as
she had for so many years before.
How much time passed between Alice’s exit then entrance back into the
bedroom was lost on Dana but she once again found her attention drawn
by the soft touch of the writer’s hands on the planes of her face.
Lifting her head slowly, Dana gazed up at Alice as the blonde pulled
her to her feet and led her into the bathroom. They moved in a
sleepy sort of coordinated dance, Dana sitting on the lowered
toilet lid and observing as Alice prepared two cups, filling one with a
small amount of mouthwash and another with a good amount of cold water.
Turning smoothly, she offered the smaller cup filled with mouthwash to
Dana with a gentle smile, watching with careful eyes for any sign that
the athlete might be feeling nauseous again. Only to jerk out of her
intense study as Dana rose to her feet because she was done with the
mouthwash and moving quickly to hold the tennis player’s waist
and provide extra support. Spitting out the mouthwash into the sink,
Dana pulled back, wiping her mouth with her hand before
turning her head and finding herself face to face with Alice. Certainly
it wasn’t the only time she had looked at Alice since their
reconciliation and slow rebuilding of their friendship but it was the
first time she had done it at such a very close range. There was just
an inch between them and suddenly Dana found herself agonizingly aware
of her minty fresh and perfectly kissable status and the fact that
she wanted and needed the press of Alice’s lips against her own as
surely as she needed air to breathe.
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OK – I just read the first chapter and this one – dreiser – awesome. truly. funny, sweet, sad, hopeful and bittersweet. I’d expect nothing less from you though. Very well done!
That was beautiful. Awesome writing as usual. Great way to end that chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Absolute perfection. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again no doubt, but your writing is amazing. And I’m not just talking about the grammar, which is a big pet-peeve of mine, but I’m talking about the way you portray and characterize each character to form. You perfectly write and vocalize Alice and Dana (no doubt because of your love for the characters), but you also have a good sense for portraying all of the others. I know you love Helena, as do I, and I like how you are forming her as she’ll hopefully be portrayed in S3 (although I do like snarky Helena too!). I know where this story is heading, mainly from checking in at your journal for updates, and I’m still excited about it because of how it’s written. Anyway, long-winded I know, but I have to give accolades to your talent.
Awww i am soo inlove with this story! The way you write the characters is spot on! This chapter was just amazing! Please update soon
Thank you for this story. Yours are stories I can read over and over again and always love. Perfect.
Simply Awsome, I hope the actual season of Alice and Dana’s relationship is at least half as good as it is in your story, keep up the great work!!
That was great. Your writing is amazing. I love angst and there was enough to go around in this chapter. Their love confession was…beautiful. Great job.
I have read it more than one time and I found more and more things that I like in your story. I said before but danish has unbelieveble writers, thanks.
Hiya, I’m a silent lurker, BUT your stuff is great…the only other person here with as much talent to hold my attention is Ms.Layla_Gray, but you capture the couple like no one esle…keep it up and you have another fan here….Peace.
IC created the characters, but I am amazed by how well you “get” them. I’m sitting here at my desk feeling happy because Alice and Dana were able to admit their feelings for each other. At the same time there is a bittersweet feeling because there is a good chance that the overall ending of the story will not be happy. It’s sad that two people who were so well suited for each other and so in love had to waste so much time. But it makes for a great story for us. I will bide my time re-reading the first two parts until you post again. Thanks for another wonderful story.
I usually lurk, but I just had to comment. Beautiful. Your writing is simply beautiful. The character development, the story development, I feel more like a voyeur than a reader!! Thank you!
Amazing! I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time I read this story. You write Alice and Dana beautifully. I love Alice’s comments like, “you’re such a girl and yet so helpless about girly things” and Alice being so sweet with Dana while she was sick in the bathroom. Their thoughts and fears which you expressed, are things that Eileen and her writers failed to say in Season 2. I’ve always loved the playful and sarcastic aspect of their relationship- very well written. I can’t wait till your next update!
i had chills the entire time of reading this story. It was amazing the way you wrote about al and dane’s love and i so hope beyond hope that you write more. Please post soon
wow that was amazing! please post soon!
this is great I am just catching up so I hope that u have already post again