Bette: Let me demonstrate.

Bette turned to Tina and said:  I have been starring at you all day and all I really want to do is kiss you. Now stop me if you don’t want me to.

Bette hesitated and then moved in with a tender kiss which lasted about 10 seconds.

Tina: Now, that was a way of asking. Bette told me her intentions: she was going to kiss me. She told me to stop her if I did not want to be kissed by her. And then she hesitated a couple of beats to give me an opportunity to stop her if I wanted to, and not seeing that she went for it.  There were plenty of opportunities for me to say no or stop or whatever to prevent her from kissing me. That is what you call implied permission. But because Bette was deliberate and announcing her intent and gave me opportunity to stop her, by me not acting or saying anything, then I said yes. You never want to force someone to kiss you if they don’t want to. You always want to give the other person the option to say no or stop at least on the first one.

Bette:  And no means no. It does not mean I really mean yes. When you hear no or stop, you do so at once and you back off unless there is some signal that they want you to stay put. And if you say no, whoever you are with must stop and back off. And if you say it multiple times, and they still do not stop then that is criminal assault. And that sort of behavior needs to reported to the authorities.

Tina:  Assault and sexual assault on college campus are very common. And it generally happens when people get together and drink too much. When you drink more than a drink or two, your common sense goes out the window.  People do things when they are intoxicated that they would never do if they are sober. Everyone looks like a sexual god or goddess and the aggressive people start to take advantage of the inebriated ones. They start making out with just about anyone. Their hands start to wander over their target. They may try to get their target to a more secluded room or area. Then they start making out again and their hand go underneath their clothes and they start to fondle their breast or their hand will dip into their pants and get a nice feel and when they are sufficiently aroused, they will start to remove the clothing of their target and soon they will both be naked where upon, the aggressor will go for their objective and have sex with the target. Now the target may get sexually aroused and not refuse the aggressor. In the mind of the aggressor, that constitutes permission to proceed and they do. Hours later, the target awakens with a sore, sticky genital area and can’t remember how they got naked or who they were with. If it was male and female sex, there is a chance of pregnancy, and a chance of some STD. If it was female on female, it depends on the method of insertion of the vagina, but one or both have a chance of STD.  Male on Male – a chance of an STD. And these scenarios happen every weekend at every college campus across America.