Tina:  So how does these factors work with gay couples?  Well, between two males, at least among those who are not ready to settle down and create a family, sex is the dominate reason two males are attracted to each other. Its two males seeking sexual release without a thought toward commitment.  So, they have wild sex and then move on to where they believe the grass is greener.

Tina: In two females, sex signals the beginnings of a relationship unless they have stated they have no intention of forming a relationship prior to the act. These relationships sometime form in a short period of time and sometimes you’ll see them moving in together after knowing each other only for a brief period of time. And for the most part, these relationships do not last because they have no other basis for the relationship except for sex. But at some point, most lesbians after going through several of these type relationships, stop and try to get to know their hoped-for partner and establish a relationship based on knowing the other person, finding common goals and desires, and having a relationship that is not based solely on sex.

Bette:  Of course, this is the type relationship that can be found in all successful long-term relationships whether heterosexual or gay relationships.  A relationship which is founded on similar interest, on trust, love, honesty, on similar goals, mutual admiration, equality and true intimacy which includes good sex.

Tina:  To summarize what we are trying to tell you is that people who are new to dating and sex are generally not ready for a lifetime commitment.  They do not have enough life experiences to make a commitment of that kind. Everything is so new and so exciting and so wonderful. The result is the desire to perpetuate that feeling forever. However, at some point, the sex gets not as exciting. Other factors start to irritate the couple. Neither partner acts as the other expects them to.  Neither are ready to fully committed to the other and sometimes they simply do not know how to be fully open with the other. Then it gets to be a pain to keep trying, so the relationship breaks up.

Bette:  Angie, we are not saying that you should avoid sex.  What we are saying that sex means different things to different people. My advice is that choose well who you have sex with and have an understanding with your sex partner as to what it means to you and to them.  If it’s just something to have fun for the moment with no strings attached. That is great as long as you both agree. If you are hoping that sex is the start of something more serious as being someone’s girlfriend or some monogamous relationship, that’s fine too. But make sure that is what you both want and agree to. And of course, you need to take the precautions to prevent STDs or pregnancy. Use your common sense and communicate your intentions and listen to your partner.