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    THANKSGIVING FROM helL

    Story written on November 26, 2006 by Lamentamini.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Character(s): , , ,
    Number of Comments: 17
    Words: 4643
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63356
    Author Notes:

    It’s late, and the title is lame. *maybe a bit spoilerish* It’s an ensemble story with some Sharmen and some TiBette-like moments. Inspired by an episode of Jerry Springer I saw over 10 years ago.

    "Shane," Carmen replied. The pep talk Carmen had given to herself earlier was flying right out the window. She began to turn away.

    "No, Carmen!" Shane grabbed Carmen’s arm. "Please don’t leave. Please."

    Helena was right by the door and heard the commotion outside. She stepped out and took Carmen’s hand. "Come inside. Dinner’s almost ready. Please?"

    Carmen looked at Helena, then at Shane. Shane’s eyes were pleading for Carmen to stay. Carmen nodded and followed Helena inside while Shane leaned against the outside of the building lighting a cigarette and fighting back tears. Shane felt like a lot of her friends’ problems were because of her hasty proposal to Carmen. Deep down she knew this wasn’t true, but that didn’t stop the guilt. She quickly finished her cigarette, sniffed and wiped her eyes, then slowly walked back inside.

    Kit and Angus were busy bringing all the dishes from the kitchen to the tables that had been pushed together so everyone could sit together. Each place had a name written on the paper tablecloth so no one could trade places and had been arranged in a way so any and all warring parties were out of arms’ reach, yet were still very much aware of each other’s presence. It was not lost on anyone that Angelica was to be placed by Kit instead of by Tina or Bette so neither mother could complain that one was given preference over the other.

    When all the dishes had been placed on the table Kit and Angus took their places.

    "While we’re not the most religious bunch, I think this meal could use a prayer," said Kit. Of course Kit was referring to the gathering of people rather than the blessing of their Thanksgiving feast. Everyone reluctantly joined hands while Kit said grace. Only Angus bowed his head and listened to Kit’s words. Everyone else was looking around, lost in their own thoughts.

    Shane: ‘I’m such a fuck-up.’

    Carmen: ‘God Shane’s so hot, but I’m still so god damn mad at her!’

    Alice: ‘Getting high on pills is stupid. I need help.’

    Bette: ‘I bet Henry is a one-minute man who wouldn’t know what to do with a clit if he was given a pop-up book on the subject.’

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    Comments

    1. That definately was the lesbian episode of Jerry Springer. I can imagine all of them throwing food at each other… and Max’s comments about Jenny was so on point. If only IC had a sense of humor and instead of this being S4 we’d get a treat in January and will premier the REAL S3. Since she has no heart, no writing style or sense of humor, we’ll have to sit through another gut-wrenching, poorly written episodes, BETTY, lack of character development and stolen story lines from Queer as Folk.

    2. ok roflmao that was sooooooooo funny and yet sooooooooo good, i loved the sharmen in it and the fact they worked it out I can only hope it turns out that way on the show … i loved this fic and i think you should keep going with it it was written so well and i thought you captured all of the characters perfectly . I loved it and couldnt stop smiling while i red it way to go and please keep it up …

    3. Lament that was a hoot. I could actually see this happening. It reminds me of the good times in season 1. Tina is the only one who knows for sure that it was Angelica that started all the mayhem. Kudos to Kit for attempting to get her family back on the same page.

    7. Lamentamini, I’ve always been a silent reader of your stories. This time, though, I couldn’t help but say something. This was hilarious to me! We could only hope that S4 would turn out like this!!! Great job and can’t wait for the next installment of this and Milestones.

    8. I’m glad people enjoyed this. I had to go back and fix some glaring typos and also to leave a comment of my own. When I read this all the way through just now, I realized how wrong it was for Max to throw ham at Jenny with her being Jewish and all. LMFAO

    9. O.o food fight..lol…when you mentioned Jerry I thought you’re going to have a “Who’s your daddy?” kind of theme lmao..I’m sure the ham incident will not be use against you in anyway:) This was fun. Thanks!

    10. “Rating Disabled By Author”? What!? Well, I’m gonna give you five stars anyway. * * * * * (Heh, way to beat the system, bum. Way to beat the system [pats herself on the back])

    12. Great story. You did a fantastic job at conveying the pain and loss Shane feels because of the incident in Canada. It was good to clear the air between Carmen and Shane, finally Carmen knows why Shane did what she did and they could move on from that mistake. (I’m a Sharmen fan, can you tell? LOL) I even liked some of the non-Sharmen lines and tidbits, like Bette and Tina’s thoughts as Kit said grace, or Kit admitting that she was throwing food too. Awesome dinner!

    13. lol…Lament where do you get this stuff from? Well written I must say and I hope it leads to a real conversation between Bette & Tina. That whole table had some issues (even Angelica…lol)

    14. Bringing up the rear here! Great story, as always, Lament! Yeah–I couldn’t believe that ham was thrown at Jenny, either! lol Loved the dialogue, which remained true to the characters. Love that Angelica for being such an accurate pitcher! Maybe she’ll play softball one day! Sorry I’m reading this so late–hope you decide to do a Christmas update!

    16. ohh, this was so hilarious.. Thanks for posting. LOL at Bette and Tina’s thoughts when Kit was saying grace, somehow they were still on the same page, in a weird way =))

    17. HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahHHahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhhahhhhahahhahahahhahahahahaha that’s all I can do…sigh that was great, my kind of comedy

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