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    THANKSGIVING FROM helL

    Story written on November 26, 2006 by Lamentamini.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): , , ,
    Number of Comments: 17
    Words: 4643
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63356
    Author Notes:

    It’s late, and the title is lame. *maybe a bit spoilerish* It’s an ensemble story with some Sharmen and some TiBette-like moments. Inspired by an episode of Jerry Springer I saw over 10 years ago.

    Bette felt the contact near her left temple then saw the carrot land in her lap. "Oh that’s real mature, Alice."

    Alice looked up with a mouth full of food. "What?"

    "Oh don’t act like you don’t know how this carrot came from your side of the table and ended up over here." Bette held up Angelica’s weapon of choice.

    Alice was really confused. ‘It’s definitely time to get off the pills,’ she thought.

    "Bette, I have no idea how that carrot got over there."

    Tina was staring down at her plate, trying her hardest not to burst into laughter. ‘Mikey must’ve taught her that,’ she mused, then frowned a bit.

    "Really? I think it was something like this," Bette said then threw the carrot at Alice’s face with it hitting her square in the nose.

    "What the fuck, Bette?!" Alice yelled.

    "Language!" Tina warned.

    "Oh you stay out of this!" Bette flung a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Tina’s chest. Tina was definitely not impressed and Bette hid her laughter behind her hand.

    "Is that a new way to breastfeed?" Angus asked, then realized the joke just wasn’t funny.

    "Alright that’s enough!" Kit said and was met with a big piece of turkey from Tina. Tina’s eyes grew wide as she realized she had really bad aim as it was meant to hit Bette.

    "Jesus, Tina! If that was meant for Bette then you REALLY throw like a girl!" Max laughed.

    "And just what makes you the authority on gender and how people throw things?" Jenny spoke up.

    Max quickly stood up and lobbed a huge slice of ham at Jenny’s head. "That does," he retorted.

    "Seriously, guys everyone calm down…" Everyone but Helena and Angelica threw some type of food at Angus. He just shrugged it off and ate the food off of his clothes. "Dinner really is good, honey," he said to Kit with a weak smile.

    While Angelica sat there taking in what was happening with no idea she had started it, Helena had slipped out to find Carmen and Shane.

    In the bathroom…

    "Shane?" Carmen asked and received no answer. She checked all the stalls and found Shane in the last one, sitting on the toilet and crying her heart out.

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    Comments

    1. That definately was the lesbian episode of Jerry Springer. I can imagine all of them throwing food at each other… and Max’s comments about Jenny was so on point. If only IC had a sense of humor and instead of this being S4 we’d get a treat in January and will premier the REAL S3. Since she has no heart, no writing style or sense of humor, we’ll have to sit through another gut-wrenching, poorly written episodes, BETTY, lack of character development and stolen story lines from Queer as Folk.

    2. ok roflmao that was sooooooooo funny and yet sooooooooo good, i loved the sharmen in it and the fact they worked it out I can only hope it turns out that way on the show … i loved this fic and i think you should keep going with it it was written so well and i thought you captured all of the characters perfectly . I loved it and couldnt stop smiling while i red it way to go and please keep it up …

    3. Lament that was a hoot. I could actually see this happening. It reminds me of the good times in season 1. Tina is the only one who knows for sure that it was Angelica that started all the mayhem. Kudos to Kit for attempting to get her family back on the same page.

    7. Lamentamini, I’ve always been a silent reader of your stories. This time, though, I couldn’t help but say something. This was hilarious to me! We could only hope that S4 would turn out like this!!! Great job and can’t wait for the next installment of this and Milestones.

    8. I’m glad people enjoyed this. I had to go back and fix some glaring typos and also to leave a comment of my own. When I read this all the way through just now, I realized how wrong it was for Max to throw ham at Jenny with her being Jewish and all. LMFAO

    9. O.o food fight..lol…when you mentioned Jerry I thought you’re going to have a “Who’s your daddy?” kind of theme lmao..I’m sure the ham incident will not be use against you in anyway:) This was fun. Thanks!

    10. “Rating Disabled By Author”? What!? Well, I’m gonna give you five stars anyway. * * * * * (Heh, way to beat the system, bum. Way to beat the system [pats herself on the back])

    12. Great story. You did a fantastic job at conveying the pain and loss Shane feels because of the incident in Canada. It was good to clear the air between Carmen and Shane, finally Carmen knows why Shane did what she did and they could move on from that mistake. (I’m a Sharmen fan, can you tell? LOL) I even liked some of the non-Sharmen lines and tidbits, like Bette and Tina’s thoughts as Kit said grace, or Kit admitting that she was throwing food too. Awesome dinner!

    13. lol…Lament where do you get this stuff from? Well written I must say and I hope it leads to a real conversation between Bette & Tina. That whole table had some issues (even Angelica…lol)

    14. Bringing up the rear here! Great story, as always, Lament! Yeah–I couldn’t believe that ham was thrown at Jenny, either! lol Loved the dialogue, which remained true to the characters. Love that Angelica for being such an accurate pitcher! Maybe she’ll play softball one day! Sorry I’m reading this so late–hope you decide to do a Christmas update!

    16. ohh, this was so hilarious.. Thanks for posting. LOL at Bette and Tina’s thoughts when Kit was saying grace, somehow they were still on the same page, in a weird way =))

    17. HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahHHahhahahahhahahahahahhahahhhahhhhahahhahahahhahahahahaha that’s all I can do…sigh that was great, my kind of comedy

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