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All The White Horses: Part Two (2/5)
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Whatever the amount, it could never come close to the actual value.
—
Alice slept in the guest room of Dana’s condo five out of seven days in
the week usually. The days weren’t ever arranged or planned or even
spoken upon. It usually ended up that way and neither of them really
discussed the phenomena. Especially not with their friends. Sleeping in
the guest room was something of a trial for Alice at times though. Not
because it was the guest room or because she was across the hall from
Dana or because she would begin thinking of what they used to do
together in Dana’s room from across the hall.
No, it was something of a trial because the guest room had a very
uncomfortable mattress. The kind that was a mutant combination of too
soft on one side and too hard on another and no matter where Alice
would end up sleeping she wasn’t really that comfortable. Most nights
she would settle for sleeping in the center of the bed. That way half
of her body would be lying on soft and the other half on hard and that
really did sound sort of pornographic, didn’t it?
But the too soft and too hard mattress was what took responsibility for
Alice being awake at a little past one in the morning and hearing the
unmistakable sound of someone vomiting. Not just someone but Dana since
she was the only other person in the house and certainly the only one
with reason to be suffering from such problems. There had been other
times that Alice had been present for the tennis player becoming sick
because of the nausea caused from her treatment but it wasn’t the same.
Maybe it was the darkness that made things sound so much more serious
and awful and caused a horrible pit to form in her stomach. Alice
didn’t know really what it was but it was enough for her to get over
her resolve about trying to be polite or proper and to give Dana space
because of all that had gone on between them during the past year.
Carefully pushing open the door to the athlete’s bedroom, she walked
towards the dim light of the bathroom where she found Dana sitting on
the floor with her head resting against the side of the toilet bowl,
looking utterly exhausted and miserable.
Quietly walking over to the brunette and dropping to her knees, Alice
pushed back a shock of hair that was soaked with sweat and murmured,
“You feeling sick, sweetie?”
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OK – I just read the first chapter and this one – dreiser – awesome. truly. funny, sweet, sad, hopeful and bittersweet. I’d expect nothing less from you though. Very well done!
That was beautiful. Awesome writing as usual. Great way to end that chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Absolute perfection. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again no doubt, but your writing is amazing. And I’m not just talking about the grammar, which is a big pet-peeve of mine, but I’m talking about the way you portray and characterize each character to form. You perfectly write and vocalize Alice and Dana (no doubt because of your love for the characters), but you also have a good sense for portraying all of the others. I know you love Helena, as do I, and I like how you are forming her as she’ll hopefully be portrayed in S3 (although I do like snarky Helena too!). I know where this story is heading, mainly from checking in at your journal for updates, and I’m still excited about it because of how it’s written. Anyway, long-winded I know, but I have to give accolades to your talent.
Awww i am soo inlove with this story! The way you write the characters is spot on! This chapter was just amazing! Please update soon
Thank you for this story. Yours are stories I can read over and over again and always love. Perfect.
Simply Awsome, I hope the actual season of Alice and Dana’s relationship is at least half as good as it is in your story, keep up the great work!!
That was great. Your writing is amazing. I love angst and there was enough to go around in this chapter. Their love confession was…beautiful. Great job.
I have read it more than one time and I found more and more things that I like in your story. I said before but danish has unbelieveble writers, thanks.
Hiya, I’m a silent lurker, BUT your stuff is great…the only other person here with as much talent to hold my attention is Ms.Layla_Gray, but you capture the couple like no one esle…keep it up and you have another fan here….Peace.
IC created the characters, but I am amazed by how well you “get” them. I’m sitting here at my desk feeling happy because Alice and Dana were able to admit their feelings for each other. At the same time there is a bittersweet feeling because there is a good chance that the overall ending of the story will not be happy. It’s sad that two people who were so well suited for each other and so in love had to waste so much time. But it makes for a great story for us. I will bide my time re-reading the first two parts until you post again. Thanks for another wonderful story.
I usually lurk, but I just had to comment. Beautiful. Your writing is simply beautiful. The character development, the story development, I feel more like a voyeur than a reader!! Thank you!
Amazing! I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time I read this story. You write Alice and Dana beautifully. I love Alice’s comments like, “you’re such a girl and yet so helpless about girly things” and Alice being so sweet with Dana while she was sick in the bathroom. Their thoughts and fears which you expressed, are things that Eileen and her writers failed to say in Season 2. I’ve always loved the playful and sarcastic aspect of their relationship- very well written. I can’t wait till your next update!
i had chills the entire time of reading this story. It was amazing the way you wrote about al and dane’s love and i so hope beyond hope that you write more. Please post soon
wow that was amazing! please post soon!
this is great I am just catching up so I hope that u have already post again