Tina laughed and began a text message immediately to Helena.

The children had mostly listened to their parents. They enjoy the friendly banter. There were things they disagreed on but each thoughtfully considered what the other was saying and had bowed to the other’s wishes. The disagreements were never short or snippy. They were more like questioning and waiting for a reply. Bette and Tina listened to each other and heard what was being said. They knew the other so well, that they knew to wait for the response before moving on to the next topic. Give the other time to process the idea and never assume they agree with you until they do. And the biggest rule for their communication is to never press the other for an answer.  Putting pressure on the other generally pulls out the defenses which will never turns out well for either of them.  With both Tina and Bette, soft and gentle persuasion with facts and opinions which are logical and caring works the best. The days of yelling and screaming have been gone for decades and they were locked in a trunk somewhere never to see the light of day again for either of them. It was one of things they learned in couples therapy… the process of communicating is just as important as the words you say. Bette and Tina had learned from their experiences and with counseling, but mostly from experiences. Bette could not remember the last time she had seen Tina throw up her hand facing her and yelling “Stop, just stop – I can’t handle this right now.”  Nor could she remember when she was about to rupture a blood vessel in her neck due to the screaming at Tina. Those incidents accomplished nothing but more anger and hurt feelings. And eventually it led to them being apart for several months.  Those were the most miserable days of their lives. And getting back together was not easy nor quick. But they always knew that the other was the only mate they ever wanted or would ever hold their heart in total without reserve.

The evening was getting late, so the family decided it was bed time and they would try to do something together tomorrow. They bid each other goodnight and pleasant dreams and went to their respective rooms.