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    Missing. 2

    Story written on January 9, 2007 by New Dawn Fades.
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    13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5 (13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 3262
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63930
    Author Notes:

    So much of me has been about her…..

     

     

    And he was gone leaving me to think on what he said. My last night on the island of forgiveness and I could not sleep. So I think about the way she feels. The way she moves like magic. I think about the way my fingers felt running through her hair, how they felt holding her head in my hand while we kissed, how I needed to take a deep breath when we got so heavy in our kissing that we didn’t know where to go or how to catch up.

     

     

    Wet trails running down my cheek. Wet hot liquid reminders of how I failed her again.

     

     

     I think about how we never had to have a normal conversation……ever. I try not to think about how it seems like a preprogrammed joke that this is all so very wrong. I think about instead how tired I am of her running away from me. I think instead of the fact that things don’t seem to last long when we are together.

     

     

    My fuel of anger that I replaced my sadness with. It’s ghost like sense of state. She is gone. I can’t wait for her. I have always been truthful about how she made me feel. I have always shared every fucking part of me good or bad with her. And life moves on. Unaffected by me unaffected by Carmen. So I have to move on…..cause life goes on…..and on and on and on……..so I moved on alone……wondering if I was going to make it this time.

     

     

     

     Rowing back to the mainland on the borrowed canoe from the shaman. The day bright that cloud of woe sailing in the other direction I realize that the world keeps spinning even though I had convinced myself that it’s the end. Made a final trip to that active volcanoes park to stand close to the white hot intensity of the lava. I stand near a pool of lava till I smell the rubber on my sneakers melting. Heat waves inviting me to join them. Bending down trying to get as close as I can but something pulls me away.

     

     

    I walked in a daze till  I found a motel. I used some of the money Carmen threw at me and I get a small room near the water. I made my way to the bathroom and that mirror once gain showing me what I really am; alone. That mirror showing me what I will always be; alone.

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    Comments

    2. Yeah Carmen! Go get your woman! I am glad she is finally admitting she can’t live without her. The list was heartbreaking! Can’t wait to see what you have in store for us next.

    4. I’m completely captivated by your fics.I must say I like that they are apart because we get to see the yearning they have for eachother. I especially love reading about their love from Carmen’s point of view.So looking forward to the next update!:)

    5. Better late than never Carmen, but I do wonder how long it will take for her to find Shane in the big ol world. When she does find her it will definitley be interesting!

    6. “But give the kid a break. He is a little boy who lost something close to him.” Not to mention he was kidnapped by some loon and probably saw his grandparents’ violent murder. To say the little guy has experienced some traumatic events would be an understatement. I totally get that. It’s just that the whole situation made me think about parents, the way parents raise their kids, the way the kids react to the world around them, character, etc. It was my first and honest reaction to what I read, and, for the most part, it still is (just tryin’ to be honest here). Now, I may not like certain behaviors (in any character of any story — it’s just bound to happen SOMEtime), but if they *make sense* for the character and *make sense* for the story, who am I to argue, right? And, in this case, they totally make sense for both. Anywho, the story makes me think, react, and reflect (as you may already know. LOL!), and it always makes for good discussion (whether it’s dissecting a character, discussing dynamics, or deciphering lyrics). I’m always excited to read things like that. It’s not just some ho hum read that I’ll forget as soon as I’m finished with it. I look forward to whatever you bring to your adoring audience (which most certainly includes me).

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